Yeah i keep on forgetting how precious it is to spend with family. Becouse The pace of time slowly creeps up, and takes people away, and they cant be replaced. i hardly ever see any family, well from out of my house any way. On my moms side her parents split up and so we never have family gatherings any more so there are many people we dont see. I never see any one on my dads side, i aint really 2 sure y other than the fact that he dropped out of school and lived on his own, so much is pretty fucked up. It just seems so odd not seeing any one, then every one else u no alwasy see's there relatives, it some what leaves a hole in you, and u dont really notice it. thats why id ont alwasy have a "merry christmas" as many people would say it. I think i have just learned to deal with it. I would never say such things but this diary is for what the title is called, and mostly what i dont let out alot. here is a poem i typed up about lossing family Entitled... " The Living losses " To see u slowly wither away, Breaks my spirit every day. To watch you be willing to die, Blackens every beutiful sky. The pain that u now lay down, has also put you in the ground. So much for happy thoughts