#16

by tomorrowstrish
Listening to: Seether-Gasoline
Feeling: bewitched
Why oh why do I strive Success in my life to gain When failure is where I arrive And along with it pain Why do I search for loves sweet sickle With its hair, eyes, smile and grace, Only to find it so fickle When I arrive in that place? Why do I long a companion to find Just a friend to love and enjoy Eyes, heart, and mind of my kind When all that I find is a mind with a ploy Money is empty and success is vain. Love is elusive and will always haunt you Companions are few and their friendship will wane. So now I must search for that which is true When truth I find all else will follow Ill find a soulmate a companion To help me through all life’s sorrows And success enough to dig me out of lifes canyon But why should I care when all is in vain? All is worthless and empty to me. But knowing all this how can I stay sane? All I know is that truth will set me free coment plzz
Read 10 comments
wait what.. i don't want that ad on there...wait or what did i have to put on there?


lisa__xoxo



lildragic24 <<--diary
[Anonymous]
Neat poems. i can understand most of them. Ill probably be comeing back again, Later.
[Anonymous]
Thats an awumness poem. I think that its really good, well written, and it flows nicley. Good Job! :p

xx*jade
[Anonymous]
oo thats what you mean i will get back to you with the code for it if thats what you want
[Anonymous]
nice
most people strive to make something of themselves. Me, when I get brought down with something sad in my life, I look at the good things in the past. Other than that, talking is my thing. I really like your poems. They usually reflect on someone's life.. Like mine.
have a good one
Jay
write some more so I can read them sometime
jay
Maybe an injection of happy.
[rad]
Very cool. I like the flow. You just keep getting better and better! Keep up the good work.
Cheers,
Scarlett
Hey,

See, this one has much more focus than the previous one, and follows a point of view structure which anyone can appreciate. You start at the particular (eyes, hair, smile) and personal struggle. Then you move outwards, more asbtract - love, heart, mind, and even larger issues of money, success, companionship and towards the end, you bring it straight back down to the personal level. Classic, even if it wasn't intentional.
Well done.