An apology. That's all I ever wanted. And I got it. Thank you Kayla. And of course I forgive you. I'm just surprised you forgave me. I acted very immature. I need to learn to act my age. I hope we can leave all of this behind us and still be friends. That would be awesome. If I ever say anything like that again, I give you full permission to kick my ass. ~Katey~

and you know, i almost felt sympathy today. i almost opened Live Hard as an option for her. but then i decided against it. plus, its no longer only my decision. and even if she was allowed back- i doubt it would go too well. second chances, they dont ever matter people never change.

alright. so. yeah. i like to check up on people. thats my business. so what? it makes me want to know how im affecting you. apparently im doing pretty good so far. by the way, my post was not about garretts talking to you. in fact, he wouldnt tell me what he was saying. so up yours, once again. well, i guess this is a first for you, hm? well whatever. -shrugs-

no. you still dont get it. no matter how much you think you do. im not bitter. up yours. im not hurt anymore. i was. there is a difference between being bitter and fully hating someone. and its not even that i hate her anymore. i pity her.

fuck you. fuck her. you'll never understand.

i used to care. more so than you'll ever imagine. but you messed up. and i'm done playing games. i'm not doing that anymore.

Alright. This is something that you need to hear. Its very hard for me to be honest with people. I apologize for that. The cling gets to me sometimes. People freak me out. I'm not used to being clung to. Nor am I used to so much attention. I dont say this to get attention. And it doesnt mean that I want you to show me so much attention because i missed out. its just something that im used to and it causes me to react with irritation. I'm sorry. And things have gotten worse since the thing between me and Kayla. The talking about it hurts the situation. Im terribly sore over it. And I'm sorry to say that I'm also very vindictive about it. Its just the way I am. The talking about Kayla coming back started the irritation and I didnt recover. And as for the Shadow Clan. Corie is right Mike. You focus all his attention on her. No matter whats going on. Almost every post revolves around Rose. Rose is like me. Cling and she'll push you away. Rose can't fair in those environments. So she freaked out. That wasnt the stabbing him thing. It was in her subconscious though. The Role Play is NOT PERSONAL. It has nothing to do with any sort of friendship between us. You are still one of my best friends. But you have to realize that how I RP is different from Real Life. THE RP IS SEPARATE. And you have to know that I'm not going to turn out like Carrie and the restraining orders and what not. I just need to breathe. You dont have to freak out every time I dont respond. It just means I'm busy or AIM is being a bitch. okay? And this doesnt mean to cut me completely off. Just lessen the hold a little okay? Okay.

yep. irked. this morning was just off to a roaring start. yay.

things are shaping up to be pretty odd so i had my interview today and it was weird and somewhat frightening but amazing too? ionno. i have the job so yay me aaaand once i start, i get my phone back and i played in the park today. and some little kid asked me if i was a secret agent it made me giggle. yes. giggle i have plans for what im doing on the SC. SO DONT PANIC, K? OKAY

i dont know whats going on with me. it just keeps getting worse. i need to get out of this house im becoming way too snippy and its not fair to anyone. im sorry.

i didnt send beckie after you. i dont care enough.

theres a theme. but anyways. today i realized why im so anti-social. i'm scared to lose people. what happens when you wake up one day and they're gone? i dont want to deal with it.

I'm your Opheliac I've been so disillusioned I know you'd take me back But still I feign confusion I couldn't be your friend My world was too unstable You might have seen the end But you were never able To keep me breathing As the water rises up again Before I slip away You know the games I play And the words I say When I want my own way You know the lies I tell When you've gone through hell And I say I can't stay You know how hard it can be To keep believing in me When everything and everyone Becomes my enemy and when There's nothing more you can do I'm gonna blame it on you It's not the way I want to be I only hope that in the end you will see It's the Opheliac in me I'm your Opheliac My stockings prove my virtues I'm open to attack But I don't want to hurt you Whether I swim or sink That's no concern of yours now How could you possibly think You had the power to know how To keep me breathing As the water rises up again Before I slip away You know the games I play And the words I say When I want my own way You know the lies I tell When you've gone through hell And I say I can't stay You know how hard it can be To keep believing in me When everything and everyone Becomes my enemy and when There's nothing more you can do I'm gonna blame it on you It's not the way I want to be I only hope that in the end you will see It's the Opheliac in me Studies show: Intelligent girls are more depressed Because they know What the world is really like Don't think for a beat it makes it better When you sit her down and tell her Everything gonna be all right She knows in society she either is A devil or an angel with no in between She speaks in the third person So she can forget that she's me Doubt thou the stars are fire Doubt thou the sun doth move Doubt truth to be a liar But never doubt Doubt thou the stars are fire Doubt thou the sun doth move Doubt truth to be a liar But never doubt I love You know the games I play And the words I say When I want my own way You know the lies I tell When you've gone through hell And I say I can't stay You know how hard it can be To keep believing in me When everything and everyone Becomes my enemy and when There's nothing more you can do I'm gonna blame it on you It's not the way I want to be I only hope that in the end you will see It's the Opheliac in me

damn. that wasnt what i really wanted to get up and read. oh well. i dont mind if Kayla lurks around the site. i just wanted you to be there to rp. but i guess, if you dont wanna be there either, im okay with that. i'll have to delete rei, but thats okay. i actually dont mind.

its sad that i tried to be sincere only to get torn down.

baby, darling, dearest, love, you're very attached arent you? theres a reason its friends only. keep your nose where it belongs, eh? and have some respect. you dont like people on your accounts. dont go onto others.

im not quite sure what im feeling right now. its just...ugh. yeah. i dont want to hurt you. and i dont mean to be rude. but please let me do this on my own. i need time to think and to get everything straight. cause im sick of being talked into things. and i think its time that i learn what i really want and yeah i miss you too. a lot. maybe things will change. sorry.

look, i know i'm being a jerk, but there's just no way around we can't be friends when you're spending all your time with a bunch of it just makes it worse when I think about you too much, so dont write anymore Yeah, I miss you too. A lot. Doesn't change anything. Sorry.

dear god woman. just...wow. you have reached an all time low havent you? fuck everyone over. way to go. and continue on my sites? my escapes? fuck no hell motherfucking no. i hate you. i have never hated anyone more than i hate you right now not even my mother. you...you just make me sick.

alright. lets get this straight: you think we're miserable? thats funny. we're perfectly happy. there hasnt been an ounce of drama. garrett does rp. the rp is running smoothly without you. we're not going to apologize. we dont care what you want. you're not going to get it. and i think i speak for everyone there [excluding your fiancee], that we're pretty much glad that you're gone. i think its funny how you keep the thought alive that we miss you and want you back. that we're miserable without you. keep lying to yourself baby. it only makes my day when i get to laugh. and my grounding, is none of your business. you're just still jealous. and you'll never understand. maybe i'm happier now that i dont have to deal with you. yeah. thats it. i'm happy without you