School starts in less than a week. That statement is alone because I am dreading it again due to the fact that once again I changed my mind on my major. Pre Law=Boring I bought a Truman Capote novel at Goodwill a few months ago. I didn't start reading it until a few nights ago. I don't know why. I've never read any Capote and I'm kind of cherishing it. Its "Music for Cameleons". It's like nothing I've ever read before. I wrote 30 pages after reading a chapter or two. Really very exciting. His writing reads like he is talking to you. It's great. Like I said, school starts next Wednesday. Scary. Especially since I (still) don't have a major. I'm thinking psychology. Maybe I'll go back to business or go on to teaching. I need someone to say: "Val, you are going to major in ______ and that's final." My aunt went to a wake today. A high school boyfriend shot himself in the head. I'm spiraling down. Little things just keep pulling at me. Do you ever get like that? Someone can say something or you hear a song on the radio and your mood just goes down and down until your so tired you can't breathe. Literally I get too tired to suck air in. Five hundred pounds of weight on my chest with a fake smile on my face. 1:03 am I just went outside. It's raining and dark. I was wearing flip-flops. My toes are wet and blades of grass are stuck to my ankles. I walked over some rocks that were slippery and almost fell. My hair is getting too long. Most of the time I keep it in a thick braid so it just swings around hitting me and annoying the crap out of me and making me feel like some one could grab it and swing me around like a doll. Or maybe that some one who hates me will cut it off and sell it.