i went to youth group last night and it was awesome! i got to see braden..yay!! and before the lesson mary-ellen (our youth pastor) gave all of us that candy stuff that has the powered sugar and comes with a white stick thing that you dip in the sugar..yeah..so braden got one of thoughs and he HATES the sugar so he gave it to me and he ate the white stick thingy. sooo..when i went to eat the sugar he made me laugh reallly hard and all of the sugar spilled all over me. it was soo hilarious. i LOVE him! but anywho. before youth group my mom had told kim and i to wait for her afterwards because she might be awhile so we did. and i shot basketball with todd for what seemed like forever..and then he had to leave, but pam was still there. then finally my mom came into the gym and said we were leaving so i went to get my stuff and told kim it was time to go..i could tell my mom had been crying..and when i turned around she wasn't there. so i walked out into the hallway and saw pam and she asked where my mom was and i said i thought she might be in the bathroom..then i heard pam say my mom shouldn't be driving so i told her to go in the bathroom and tell her i'd drive. when they came out we all walked out towards the parking lot and my mom stopped, threw me the keys and told me to go warm up the car and her and pam went back inside. kim and i waited forever in the car until they came back out..and when my mom got in the car she said to drive to mcdonalds because i guess we were meeting pam there, so i did and all of us ate a little something. then we finally went home and it was past 9:30 when we got there so i went back to my room, turned out the lights, turned on my music and just laid there, with my head at the foot of the bed, listening to the music and thinking. after awhile i could hear my mom and dad out in the living room fighting about something so i turned down my music and listened. my mom was saying something like, "it doesn't matter where i go or how long i'm there, i can STILL have a relaps and get addicted again!!!" then i heard my dad say, "ANGIE..you HAVE to do this..would you rather go to jail for 10 years? i don't want to see that happen! you keep saying how much all of this is hurting you. well, if it is then you NEED to do whatever you have to do to get past this..so you can move on with your life!!!" wow. after i heard him say all of that i laid there and cried forever. i was so mad at her for being so stubborn..for ALWAYS being so stubborn. i felt like she didn't care about anybody but herself..and for a couple minutes i hated her so much for everything..i hated her for putting not only herself, but us through this. and then i cried more..because i hated myself for hating her..even if it WAS only for a minute. today went by extremely slow and everyone kept asking me what was wrong because i tried to avoid talking to anyone except braden. i didn't want to be anywhere..but at the same time i wanted to be at school more than anything and be around everyone forever. i never wanted to leave. i wrote lauren..as always, because i absolutely LOVE her to death. i wrote her in almost every period. i wanted her with me all day..i missed her so much, she has no idea. that's why i wrote her in every period that i could..because it made me feel like part of her was with me..and i know that probably sounds really retarded but it's true. i think maybe that's why i've been writing her in almost every period every day this week..bc i miss her. geometry's like my get-away class now. i love it so much because tara, linsee, courtney, kristen, and rachel are awesome and we have a blast in that class. tara wasn't there today though..neither was courtney. i normally walk up to the third floor with tara because she has 7th period with lauren, plus she's awesome..but today i couldn't, so luckily i caught lauren before she went into her class. yay! okay. that's all. later.