i know i haven't updated the past two days and i'm sorry, i just haven't really been in the mood :-( a lot's going on with me right now that i haven't really been able to talk to anyone about. i mean, i've told certain people certain details..different people, different details. i haven't told any one person everything though..i just can't right now. i don't feel like there's anyone that i would be comfortable telling everything to. i'm trying really hard though..and i know things will eventually get better..they always do. a lot of people have disappointed me in different ways lately..i think everyone of my friends have in some way or another..they just don't realize it. i guess it's just little things. but yeah, i've also disappointed myself a lot lately too. i'm not really doing anything right in my life right now..or at least, how i should be doing it. everything from my relationships/friendships to my Christian faith. i'm struggling with a lot right now i guess..and i know that everyone else is too..that's why i hesitated to even write this at all..but if you're reading this and you pray, please pray for me. anyhow, i really do love my friends more than anything in the entire world. they keep me going when all i want to do is give up. i would never make it without them. each of them give me something that the others could never, ever give me. different things in very different ways..and what makes them all so great, i think, is how different from eachother they all are. they each care in different ways. i love them all so very much. i guess maybe i kind of compare my friends to a chain. each link is different and unique in it's own way, and each one of them are needed to keep the chain together, so if one is missing..or lost..then the chain becomes broken and that link can never, ever be replaced. maybe that's dumb..but sometimes that's just how i look at it..to me it just makes more sence sometimes. welp, that's all i have to say at the moment. i haven't really shared any deep thoughts for awhile, so i thought i'd do something different today..instead of constantly telling you guys about my, most of the time, very boring and uneventful day :-) much love to all of you. oh yeah, and smile big for me :-)