i found this in someone's xanga and had to put it in here because it's EXACTLY how i feel. i changed it a little bit and added some things, but it's pretty much the same. so read it!! perty please :-) * i will not make the same misakes that YOU did. i will not let myself cause my heart so much misery. because of YOU i never stay too far from the sidewalks. because of YOU i have learned to play on the safe side so i dont get hurt. because of YOU i find it hard to trust not only myself, but everyone around me. because of YOU i am afraid of every relationship. i can't cry because i know that's weakness in YOUR eyes. i'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh, everyday of my life. my heart can't possibly break, when it wasn't even whole to start with. because of YOU i tried my hardest just to forget everything. because of YOU i dont know how to let anyone else in. YOU have made me ashamed of my life because its empty. YOU have made me so afraid to just be myself. YOU are the reason i cry all the time. yet all that YOU have done to me i still haven't and will never change anything. -i wonder what it is about YOU that makes me try so hard.- i also found this and decided i needed to put it in here as well. i realized it's EXACTLY what braden feels every single time he sees lauren hurt me. * i sit there and listen to you talk about her, watch you die because of her. and there's nothing i can do. i give you all my sympathy, but you don't take it. you don't think i care. but really, you just don't realize how much i care, how much i've gone through for you. i have scars for you. but that wasn't enough. i was never enough.