today went by fast but slow. yes that's crazy..i know. but anywho. in lunch allie and i both forgot our lunch money which was sweet. but juile gave us $2 to share and so we went up and bought chicken nuggets and mashed potatoes and shared it. we were both starving to death though :-) oh well. austin best was trying to get me to get back together with braden today in biology again. oh yeah...and braden gave everything back to me. all the notes i EVER wrote him, the cd i burnt him for valentines day, all the pictures he had of the two of us, and a bracelet that i gave to him. he said he couldn't look at them anymore. i don't blame him. gosh i freaking miss him. i think i've made the biggest mistake of my life. i want him back. at least i think i want him back. i love him. right? i know i do. i'm making him a cd right now. i hope he likes it. anyhow. lauren wasn't at school today which is weird because i just talked to her on the phone last night and she seemed fine. but who knows. i missed her. hmmm..we had a class meeting today and i sat beside kyle. it was sara, allie, kyle, me then megan. and i didn't realize that braden was sitting across from us in the aisle. i felt bad. i'm trying to figure out if i really do want to get back together with him or if i just feel like that's the better way to go. maybe i just miss him so much right now because i'm not used to being without him. maybe it will go away in time but i don't know. right now though i think i want him back. gosh i'm really not sure. i wish i knew what my heart was saying..or maybe, what God is saying. either way, i have no idea. i guess i'll find out soon enough. everyone's trying so hard to be there for me..all of them in different ways. lauren's is a little straight forward but that's just how she is and that's what i love about her and maybe that's what i need right now..sara says to just follow my heart and i like that idea but i wish i knew what it was saying..megan is just there if i need her, like always :-) and allie just makes me smile and always knows when i need her to. i love all of them so much! okay i really miss megan right now.