it's 4:12 and braden just left about five minutes ago. when he first got here i didn't really say much to him and i tried to act like i was okay, even though i had just cried about 2 minutes before he came. but when he kissed me and said that he had to leave i got up from the computer, hugged him and wouldn't let go. i told him i wanted him to stay, and i just started crying. he held me forever, and he kept telling me that he loved me..that everything was going to be okay..and that he was always going to be here for me. and i just kept crying..and he kept holding me. then he picked me up and sat on my bed..and kept holding me forever. and i just kept crying. i couldn't stop. and he asked what was wrong, even though part of me already knew that he knew. but i told him..and he just held me tighter. even though he had to leave and go to work, he stayed anyways. i didn't want anyone else here. just him..holding me. he made me feel like nothing else had to matter in the entire world. and even though i couldn't stop crying i knew everything was going to be okay because he was there and i felt safe. he's the only person i feel like i can count on right now..for anything. last night i cried myself to sleep for the same reason that i cried today. and i didn't have braden to hold me last night..but i'm glad that i had him here today. i love him so much and i don't know what i'd do without him. he always, always makes everything better. he's so amazing. my best friend. it took me awhile to realize that, but he is.