worse than you

Listening to: moonlight sonata
Feeling: obnoxious
once, in my english class, my teacher asked us a question. he said, "if you were offered the opportunity to be able to do whatever you want, anything you can imagine, everything being possible, for an entire year, but if you also knew that once that year ends, you would lose all memory that what happened ever happened, would you still do it?" as soon as he asked us that, right away, i hated the question and i loved it too. just to think of all the possibilities, being able to accomplish what you've always wanted to, experience what you once weren't able to, and do things only you have ever imagined doing...it's such a glorious idea to think of, to picture in your mind. but not being able to remember any of it? well, that's not fair. memories are what build your mind, what make you who you are. without them, you have no foundation to work off of. you have nowhere to start. no room for growth or discovery. if you have the opportunity to do everything you've dreamed of doing, the chance to create memories that are finally worth remembering, then what's the point? everyone has memories of things that will never happen to them again, events that will never be repeated. but the good news is, you at least have those memories that are like a portal to the past, that help you to relive what you think you've lost forever. with memories, you can recreate things that one would think you'd only be able to do once in your lifetime. but why go forth and have the best time of your life, knowing that you'll never be able to remember a second of it, and you'll never be able to relive it in your mind or recreate how it felt? no matter how long i sit and wonder, thinking of this question, listing pros and cons, i always come out with the same answer. i'd definitely do it. even if i'll never remember doing it, i like to think that i'll gain some sort of permanent scar from the experience, like a newfound happiness that will stay with me forever,and even though if i sit back and wonder where that happiness came from, why i feel like such a different person and i'll never get an answer to those questions, still i'll have that feeling with me. i believe that if you spend a year doing everything that makes you happy, that sort of feeling and rush of emotions would have to stay with you, even if you can't remember where it came from.
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