Oh, what a day. New rules at my school state that we cannot even go into the library before school without a note from a teacher. The don't even let us off the bus until seven forty-five. So we are sitting in a parked bus for ten minutes. School is becoming more and more like prison every day. Quite frightening, if you ask me. Anyway, today wasn't such a horrible day until I got on the bus. This lame dude who looks like a Keebler elf or the Duke Blue Devil asked me if I was pregnant. After an enthusiastic NO, I asked why. His reply? "Man, you look like you gained a whole lot of weight." I told him I knew that, and turned up the volume on my CD player. Which brings me to my next topic. I have been all up in the MM lately. I had stopped listening to Marilyn Manson for a while, as I was filling my CD player with Placebo, Bright Eyes, The Cure, and of course the ever present AFI. But I decided to listen to it again today, and it made me feel better. It seems a lot of the songs apply to aspects of my current situation. No one seems to want to talk to me anymore. No one IMs me, or even comments on here. Many of my friends don't even post on this site anymore. One of them is gone forever, six feet under the earth. It just lessens my will to live. Oh well, I imagine I will get used to my lonliness. Gah, seems like I had so much more to write, but I suppose I am imagining it. I wish that I was good enough; then I'd know that I am not alone.... Coma Black-Marilyn Manson My mouth was a crib and it was growing lies I didn't know what love was on that day My heart's a tiny blood clot I picked at it It never heals and never goes away... I burned all the good things in the Eden Eye We were to dumb to run to dead to die I burned all the good things in the Eden Eye We were to dumb to run to dead to die This was never my world You took the angel away I'd kill myself to make everybody pay I would have told her then she was the only thing I could love in this dying world But the simple word of "love" itself already died and went away This was never my world You took the angel away I'd kill myself to make everybody pay This was never my world You took the angel away I'd kill myself to make everybody pay I burned all the good things in the Eden Eye We were too dumb to run to dead to die I burned all the good things in the Eden Eye We were too dumb to run to dead to die Her heart's a bloodstained egg we didn't handle with care It's broken and bleeding and we can never repair