May the wind sweep you off your feet...

Listening to: AFI-The Nephilim
Feeling: unsure
Like an angel with two broken wings, reach to the sky again... There are no words to describe how I feel right now. There are no words to express what has happened. Attila's life has been taken. I refuse to believe that she killed herself-she may have picked up the blade, but it was the terrible events that took place in her life that killed her. I hate the way this sounds. I can't believe she's gone. She was one of the best friends I have ever had, and I never even met her. She was always there for me when I needed someone. She always made me feel like I mattered, like I was not the horrible person I saw in myself. I only wish I could have done the same for her. She did not deserve any of the horrible things she had to deal with in her short life. You cannot imagine how much she meant to me. She was my hope, my strength, my friend. I wish I was more eloquent and could express this better, but I think Attila would forgive me. She will never be forgotten. May the wind sweep her off her feet... Te amo....I love you!
Read 14 comments
I'm sorry Erika. Damn I hate that she did b/c I really enjoyed reading her journal. I wrote a poem about how I feel but it isn't very good. It started being good then it turned around.--
I know that "I'm sorry for your loss" could never cover it, but I don't know what to say. I'm sure that you impacted her as much as she impacted you.
I am so sorry. I know I am a complete stranger to you, but if you ever need someone to talk to....I am a very good listener. Ask ryoko or diasuke. They know. I would never tell a single soul what you told me or talked about. I know how it is to feel like nothing. I too lost a friend. She is not dead, but she might as well be.
My being closer to her matters none in how much pain, sorrow, guilt that may be felt by both of us. My life, has become a vast nothingness as Attila had once told me on IM. I sit and don't hear what people say, I touch but don't feel. I haven't ate in five days. No one in my life "understands" why I have taken it so hard when I never met her. I have never felt so alone, ever. I don't want to have another person tell me "I'm sorry" ...
... For their sorry's will never bring back the person I have come to love. Or even patch at how horrible I feel. Crying out in random parts of the day and all night looks like no stop. Yet, I know she fought with these things for three years. I know she struggled with the choice to take her life into her control; by ending it. I, too can offer no better words, Erika, as I am in no state to say them.
Love always and forever,
Jess
No, they will never understand the ability to have a friend in your life whom you have never met except with words exchanged. There really is no relief in knowing her struggle has ended, her pain no longer having to be endured. It does seem like a never ending dream, but we are stuck in it. Forever. I could never forget what a great person she was and what a great person she could have been.
Our lives will never be the same with her no longer a part of it. She gave me reassurance that we could all be strong no matter what came our way, and now I don't know that I can block out people's stated opinions of me. I have collapsed...

It is too hard to handle. Too hard to take control of emotions.
Im sure I have spoken with her at some stage. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Your words said everything that needed to be said, you expressed them as eloquently as anyone could
[Anonymous]
Thank you :)
It means alot to have you say that.
I'll talk anytime (I could use it too) be it aim or msn or just comments.
I went back through all the comments she left me, and was amazed yet again at what a nice, considerate, and intelligent person she was.
She won't ever be forgotten.
I'm deeply sorry for the loss of your friend. She has touched so many lives and I have never even heard of her until today. You are in my memory as well as she...I'm so sorry...if you ever need to talk..Please feel free to comment anytime.
She truly has. And it depresses me how deeply people have been affected. Especially you. I wish I had known her.
thanks you, but yes, i know. i have another sitdiary - deathendreams. however, i do not wish to use it anymore. at least not for a long time. but, thank you.
wait, i have a question. at the time of her death, was she still residing in detroit? i cannot find it in the obituaries. i also live in michigan - but i can't find anything on her death..
I think what you wrote about the beautiful Attila was amazing. It truly brought tears to my eyes. I can not agree with you more. She should not be dead. I still cry over her death. I will never be the same she made me feel important as well. Well I am here for you if you need me...
[Anonymous]