.... Tears were streaming down my hot, flushed cheeks, struggling to let my blinds down even though every time I tried they just kept getting lopsided and more crooked as I cried "It's not over, Mom!" "Yes it is Jaclyn, I'm done. I'v said everything in my heart, and there is left to say. I'v said it all. Over and Over again. Everything is spilling out of me and all I have left is a place where.. My little toe can sqeeze in. And that's all I have left." as her hands cut through the air and tears welled in her eyes. I fell on my bed. Lifeless. Like I had just been shot. All these thoughts racing through my mind. What does she mean? It's time for change. Something happened last night that has changed everything. I learned a valuable lesson. I didnt trust my mom and I blew it. ---- Aaron on the other side of my bedroom wall evesdropping on us argueing. (when I wrote my last entry). She knew he would do this. Love to laugh and put more fuel to the fire. He is allowed to get mad at me, but if my mother does "she's drunk." So after she told me it was "over." she went to wake Aaron up. Long story short, he got all his shit together and said he was gonna call the cops (for yelling on her own damn property) and the CPS. "your just drunk. Your just like MICK." HA. He got in his big fat white van and as my mom was walking towards him to tell him she still loved him, I ran out and to try to protect her. "Dont run over my feet........." she yelled and he fish-tailed. I heard her scream in agony as she fell to her knees in slow motion. "He crushed my feet." She crawled back slowly after I sat with her in the dirt in shock. Holding the cell phone and not knowing who I should call. 911?? Elizabeth??And he wanted to call the cops on her?? I have no respect for him whatsoever. I hate him. This is the last time hes hurt her.. and this time he drew blood. I went to sleep praying for God to forgive me. The sharpest weapon you have is your toungue and it cuts straight through the heart. And worst of all, my words spilled out of my mouth like someone profusely puking, all out of frustration because I couldn't understand what my mother was saying. I didn't mean it. I didn't keep quiet. And she payed for my mistake I wanted to die. I felt totally empty and heartbroken. There was no point to life because no matter how good of a person you are it doesnt amount to anything because you will die and be forgotten. "Take me now. I dont want to be here. Why did this all get dealt to us? come back soon." my face soaked with salty tears. I cried myself to sleep. I found comfort though. And when I woke up at 6:00amI asked Him to give me the strength to get out of bed and face a new day. I can't stay in this bed forever. My mom called me. That was my cue. I made coffee and we had a long conversation. THings have definately changed.. I tried to clean up the smudged blood from my mom's feet, off the floor. She wouldn't let me. This is all my fault.