FUCK. everything is lost again. i have to start over. ok.. heres my dress.. only.. it's slightly darker purple. 2001. when i won bakersfield's brightest star... Amy Adams did my make-up that day at CLinique.. and the camera's followed us around when selecting the outfit .. and we sang celine dion together :) about 2 months ago. aint i cute? loook in to my eyes u are getting verrrrrrrrrrrrry sleeeeeeeeeeepy and me now :) -__-_-__--__-__--_---___--__---__-_-_---__-__- I hate it how I say "I'm going to bed now.", turn off the lights, sneak my cold body under my blankets and have 37858584738 thoughts going through my mind. Mainly about him. I wish he was there to slide his fingers down my back.. and hold me like it was the last time. Tell me he loves me and he'll always be with me. Just to look in his eyes and hold him would mean the world. And he's not here? I want to feel him. And wrapping my own arms around my lonely body is not comparable to what I want to feel. So I come back here to put these thoughts away in a file in space. And this will go on everynight till I'm with him and can feel his fingertips against my skin. Now I can slip back into sleep and wish he was here and pretend he's holding me... untill tomorrow night.