the wheels on the bus go round and round..
Listening to: prison sex- tool
Feeling: blue

he was my mini bus driver and i feel that i have mistreated our friendship. eventhough i was young and naive then, i still feel terrible.he was always just trying to look out for the kids(including myself)..-_- he doesnt work anymore..

the kids are playing outside. the neighbor mows the lawn. the tree branch shakes while the little toy frog falls to the ground. the screams of the children playing are very comforting.the sun outside sets on the clouds around it, the sun's rays reflect off of the violet clouds and give the sky an orange color. cars drive by admiring the children playing..on a warm winter's day.

where did it all go? why? nine and seven, at those ages i was ready to tie the noose and fall. i was ready to do so because i didnt know the meaning of life. i used to believe i was just another person sucking the life out of everything..i was just vermin. i wished to be nice and just end myself, one less person to cause destruction to the planet and others.

i dont remember what changed my mind. i dont. if i only knew.. i remember the fresh cut grass. the great big clumps in my socks, oh how much they itched! i remember many many many moments in my life that i thought i had forgotten.

i remember the necklace. oh how much i loved that necklace! it was heart shaped and filled with water with glitter. i was by the fench and two older girls asked if they could see it. then, i asked for it back, and they said that they had thrown it over the fence. i remember my father and myself looking for the cecklace in the dark and i remember not even believing that they actually had taken it. so inocent. i actually believed them..ha..such an idiot..i shouldnt scorn myself too much, besides i was only five

-blue

377 hit(s) Ignore the smoke  
This post has no comments.
Leave a Comment
Human Check: 9+9=


Entry List
time
the turn
hm
howl
blank
balance
gums
water
focus
the light
relapse
remedy
dry
moving on
intentional.
balance
fish
july
leaving
jardin
friction
being heard.
blank
comfortably numb
paint.
truth.
sleep.
waiting
free.
alone
the calm
oy.
salt
voice
hurts to breathe
lids
breathing
buzz
gum
more to bear.
hurt
blank
i see.
ears are burning.
waiting.
little black pill
fuck anything that moves
cold
blister
ride
5th
sore
tightness
fog
a need
sick puppy.
fairness
bridges
lines
ha
where is my mind
peel
congestion
movement
growing
sleeping on the kitchen...
cracks and pops
top top top
awake
TODAY.
i'm many things but not a...
own it.
three years older
!!!
cold wall
safe space
9
explain this to me please
blank
blank
blank
blank
blank
:o
blank
blank
:)
mm
wow
click
again
blank
blank
shimmy shimmy
blank
blank
blank
what?
blank
ahem...
the truth is...
hello
i'm good
halt... what the third time...
chirp
what is it
blank
tremble
can't even breathe
josh ya
blank
blank
clear
blank
ay
esperanza
capricious
choice
did we just have a moment?...
dizzy
stretch
"let me give you some more...
dream
corn
yack
fiddling
blank
here
allay me
it was my muffin..
if
"dante's inferno" pt. 2
revoked
"dante's inferno"
edge
recollecting
the twitch
eh
repeat
hollow?
weak
blank
there
blurry
choke
heh
just
blank
blank
blank
FOOK YOU
fook
*dot dot dot*
out with the old! in with the...
?
ouch..?
question
life death blah
plane
blank
blank
sky
the wheels on the bus go...
it?
spring dreaming
SMILE, it makes the world go...
1st entry
167 post(s)