there was a time when i was counted, i was visible and all that surrounded me was as it was. now i sit in this golden cage. no trouble of any kind. my name is clear. even the poorest aren't labeled "clandestine". my question is what else? how else? i gave up my tongue to assimilate. i sacrificed community. my roots. what else. what else is needed. how much more is needed? everything that i have, all that i have accomplished has been done with the help from people that care. there has been no aid from the government or state. what else. what else. what else.

rhetorical questions. all of them. i know the answers. the world owes me nothing. i owe the government and state nothing. those that have stepped in to lessen the burden are all blood. even within them there's disorder.

another lifetime of limbo.

it really fucks with my paradigm. this "other" label. being on the outside. hiding. the secrets. fear of being followed, watched, discovered.