in all fairness he did say he couldn't offer me anything more than company at the gym. sure. okay.

so, with this in mind, why do i feel so frustrated?

i guess because the image i had of our whatever it was, well that was totally shattered by today's earlier events. i saw him at the parade, riding in the van, he pretended he couldn't see me. after the parade, my family and i went to the festival and we were trying to figure out where a stand was when he comes up to a group of people that i guess were his friends in high school. i try not to panic and i figure i should go say hi to get it over with. i walk over poke him say hi and as if he was staying long. he already started saying how he was just looking for some old friends and he had to take off after.

even as i write this, it hurts. i feel hurt. he's always brushing me aside. yeah.

i'm done with this. he makes an okay gym partner but even that, he's crummy. so serious. i like laughing, talking... oh and i like not over-working my body. so my triceps, yeah, lay off. mmm i don't know what's going to happen.

i do have control over how much access he has to me. honestly, i'm better off not being near him. yeah. okay. i'm off.

as for the other guy, he had his chance.

it's true, they always come back.

i'm so sleepy. i think i've devoted enough of my time to these people. that's why i've been eating awful food like crazy. because of this decision.

it's over. yeah. only when i can. yesh. yeah.