i'm not sure what it is. i'm just, i'm stuck. i'm afraid that this is going to be it. i don't want to be stuck with this for the rest of my life.

i want to be happy. i'm okay for a while and then things happen.

i don't know what to say. i'm speechless. i feel like i'm being watched. i'm paranoid. i'm nervous.

he was one of the few people that i viewed as close to invincible. from one night to another he's gone. i don't know what to think, feel. feel what. i don't know. i don't deal well with death. who does. who.

rhetorical question.

i think i miss him. i'm not sure. i kind of do but don't. i'm just a bunch of mixed emotions. don't know how to feel.

mm.

hm.