i don't know what i'm doing. that's the truth. i don't know what i'm doing. i don't know what i'm doing. i wonder if i write that over long enough, can i come up with something? conjure up an idea... plan? what's my objective. there's this very abstract idea of what i want to accomplish in the near future. i want to run a marathon. i want to place in that marathon. so after that, then what? ultrathon? triathlon? what comes after that? i don't know. these physical, mm these endeavors that are of a physical nature, that's so wordy, anyways these aren't enough.

in an ideal world, i wouldn't be working but instead i would be sitting in at lectures from different schools of thought. every month i would transfer to another university. that would be fucking awesome.

for now there's panda and the county. that's it. i feel like i'm limiting myelf of many opportunities around me.efen when it comes to guys. if i didn't, if i wasn't working out with phillip, would i have more pegue? dunno. what i do know is that there' no one at the gym that interests me in anyway. ii'm not egen kidding. peple have been kind and expect something in return. i'm kind, respectful, still, there are these ideas of me that float around. people say i'm not proud, no, i am proud. i just know how to conceal undesired traitis. o

ve veru gppd at oat., o

ve dpme ot p we;;;;sleeeep. it's a sign, sleep. continue another

do you want a ride, do you want to ridie,

yes i do.

that's all i wanted to hear. i don't care about the rest.