we've still been messaging eachother.. on tuesday we spoke on the phone... it was so weird at first, i must admit i was completely overwhelmed... i was so nervous, could hardly speak... if voices could kill!! daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn. really, i mean, that was the... wow... ok.. hahahaha now i really am overreacting... i don't know how i kept my thoughts straight, daaaaaaamn. hahahaha i feel like such a fool. it felt good to speak with him, :/ the appeal was definately the distance, knowing that it was impossible... yes. i know that now. that's why it's so easy to let go with him, say whatever. laugh hahaha crazy guy. things are much more clear now. the guy i was dating, i couldn't.. right after i had asked him if he wanted to bowl..i couldn't take it and i told him... just, no. i can't. explained to him everything... well, except the age thingy...hehe... ay. that was horrible. i guess i've lost a friend :/ he was pleasant too.. shit. i can't do that right now though.. i don't see myself talking to someone on the phone... eeeeevery night, and seeing them the following day... it's not that i'm lazy, it's just that right now i want some time to make friends. i want more me time, friend time. i'd like to let go. "what can ya do" really now, what the hell can you do? i'm dissapointed, she's just like them. they're sad... they're all the same... i'm nauseas. they all click sooo well together hahaha because they're all trying to see what dirt they can dig up on eachother, to gossip about it later to eachother so they don't feel as bad about how they don't work, hate school, and about how they're using their tuition money to buy plastic accessories at target and box wine! no, she's not one of them... she likes to "borrow" my old 8th grade crap... get over it... please don't let me take back "it's just a phase" please!! i was driving to school with a friend on the free way, heading up a ramp.. when a white nissan altima raced up past us.. we were going 70, they had to be going at least 7 above. the car was two ahead of us when it starting swerving... left and right.. left and right.. we were in the middle lane. and then, it sped up, while swerving, and rammed itself into the wall... the front part of the car was torn off, and it then did 4 360's.. while this happened the car behind it, was hit by the spinning car. the car behind that one, reared the white care and the car in front of it.. and we barely missed the trio. the cars behind us kept coming and swerving to our left and right so we wouldn't get hit... it was insane. today my cousin and her "boyfriend" came to pick me up to go bowling, he ran a yellow, and was getting closer and closer to the car ahead of him... i screamed his name three times.. i was afraid. crazy freud.