my cousin says my hamstrings are too tight. maybe he's right? i don't know. they feel fine to me... what do i know anyways.

so tomorrow. i don't want tomorrow to end. i don't want to go to work on monday. i want to go to school. there i could exercise some control. well, when i was single i was pretty happy.

the idea, plan or something was to meet someone in grad school. here i am, working, my job, i can't complain. this is not what i want. this isn't the end, it can't be the end. i cannot see my life ending with this. i'd like to say more but will refrain from continuing.

i'll be fine.

in other news, though i've said that i was over him, i still look for his car. so foolish. i got sleepy all of a sudden. i think i'll sleep now.

i wanted to get on here to write some stuff out. i'm frustrated, with more than one part of what makes my mondayh though saturday. wha the fuck am i doing? seriously. what does it all mean anyways? i'm to sit on the backburner until he gets lonely?? no, time for change. here i go.

change. what am i going to change? for starters, i guess i should... what should i change? i need a haircut, that's a must. same old haircut... hm. what do i want... what do i want. i don't know what i want. i need to figure that out, at least get an idea. i'm just aiming for the easiest. i deserve better. there is nothing about the relationship him and i share that is at all sustainable. such a weak structure. time to set firei to the building and walk away. remember how i got there, take in the lessons, absorb. absorb. absorb.

still think i'm being... i think someone is reading this, that person. i want them to know something, a few things.

i was showering yestday and i realized something, several things.

at this point in my life there are three people that i will never ever have in my life. these three people will never be a part of my circle, i will never forgive these people for the past. before i die, these people will not cross my mind as others will have, and if they do it'll be out of spite.let's just say that with all, with all there were violations that were made. the damage is irreversible. can't spell woh shit.. so tired. i okday i wll sleep now.