what is it
Listening to: butterfly caught-massive attack
Feeling: cold

there's nothing left and it's hard to accept that.

i dreamt i was on a table and was on the verge of giving birth.. when i woke up my jaw was so sore!

in my dream i was so scared, i kept screaming.. saying that i didn't want the child to come out. i know, what a coward huh? to the right of me there was my aunt that had given birth a few minutes before, she was just laying there peacefully(probably napping?).

days later i dreamt that i had a daughter, and we were running down a hospital corridor. we were trying to get out. this is hilarious, my little cousin, which is 3, is chasing us. we're running and we cut a corner, i tell my daughter to sprint ahead of me.. and what do you know, my little cousin is there and he then proceeds to stabbing my daughter. i catch her right before she falls and she's bleeding and no one really cares. we're in a hospital, and no one cares. he just giggles and walks past us. i'm on the ground, stained with my daughter's blood, crying.

a few days after that i dreamt that i had a little boy and we were sleeping in the same bed. i guess he was having a lot of nightmares because he kept waking up. in my dream i held him and rocked him in my arms to soothe him. he then stiffened, stretched his limbs.. and i asked him what was wrong, and i looked at his face. he was having a seizure. his face was contorted. he died in my arms, how did i know?.. i just knew. i then got up to get a phone, called for help but no one picked up. i cryed aloud for help, nada.

the other day i dreamt i was in the park with my little cousin, we were playing. he then fell to the ground and started shaking.. his voice changed and he started breathing heavily, he looked strained... it was terrible. he looked like he was possesed. i tried to help him, but only made things worse.

i don't know what's going on.

i am afraid.

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Entry List
time
the turn
hm
howl
blank
balance
gums
water
focus
the light
relapse
remedy
dry
moving on
intentional.
balance
fish
july
leaving
jardin
friction
being heard.
blank
comfortably numb
paint.
truth.
sleep.
waiting
free.
alone
the calm
oy.
salt
voice
hurts to breathe
lids
breathing
buzz
gum
more to bear.
hurt
blank
i see.
ears are burning.
waiting.
little black pill
fuck anything that moves
cold
blister
ride
5th
sore
tightness
fog
a need
sick puppy.
fairness
bridges
lines
ha
where is my mind
peel
congestion
movement
growing
sleeping on the kitchen...
cracks and pops
top top top
awake
TODAY.
i'm many things but not a...
own it.
three years older
!!!
cold wall
safe space
9
explain this to me please
blank
blank
blank
blank
blank
:o
blank
blank
:)
mm
wow
click
again
blank
blank
shimmy shimmy
blank
blank
blank
what?
blank
ahem...
the truth is...
hello
i'm good
halt... what the third time...
chirp
what is it
blank
tremble
can't even breathe
josh ya
blank
blank
clear
blank
ay
esperanza
capricious
choice
did we just have a moment?...
dizzy
stretch
"let me give you some more...
dream
corn
yack
fiddling
blank
here
allay me
it was my muffin..
if
"dante's inferno" pt. 2
revoked
"dante's inferno"
edge
recollecting
the twitch
eh
repeat
hollow?
weak
blank
there
blurry
choke
heh
just
blank
blank
blank
FOOK YOU
fook
*dot dot dot*
out with the old! in with the...
?
ouch..?
question
life death blah
plane
blank
blank
sky
the wheels on the bus go...
it?
spring dreaming
SMILE, it makes the world go...
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167 post(s)