I don't know if it's the stress that caused me to feel like I did or that I'm just fed up with everything right now. I just am having a hard time keeping my emotions at bay when I want to be pissed or depressed and it's hard not to be exactly that. I wish I still had the control I did last year. At least my mind and body wouldn't be going through this torture. It hurts too much to fight off the emotions, but I know I have to to a point. I came hom and talked with Kay and started downloading some music and found this song that just hit home. Tell Me Why by Cold. It is amazing, at least I think so. Right now it is what I need to hear to help keep me going. These are the words. -Kat- I could see her fall from grace Like a movie star to old to change her life With a bottle by her head Every night she went away I would pray for someone else to change her life If she wouldnt change for me Tell me why. please tell me why. you stole my life Tired of hearing the same old song Everytime you came back frozen deep inside Was it my love that you feared I was a misfit all the way Never there to help me grow and change my life Then you smiled and walked away All the lil things she said to me Were broken thoughts and tainted dreams If she cant take these memories It doesnt change a thing Every lil word she said to me That broke my heart and stayed with me I wish that she could hear me scream She never changed a thing This cant go on!