For the first time in a long time I felt lonely tonight. I don't know what brought it about but I almost couldn't handle it. I tried calling for the person that I needed to hear from, but they were on their way home from taking a friend home. I didn't leave a message for them. I couldn't. I don't know why, but I think it is because I didn't want to show my weakness to him. I don't know really. I do know that I felt as if I needed to hear his voice because up until Monday, we were talking at least once a week. Then I told him to not call me again until he had an answer. I know his answer. This is the end and I just have to accept it. He doesn't want to talk to me anymore, even as a friend so I just have to take it and move on. How I wish this was all just a bad dream, but that would only be denying the truth. The truth is now I am alone and I need to go back to relying on myself as support. Yes I have Kay and Sky, but it isn't the support I am needing even now. I felt part of my spirit die tonight and hope to find it eventually, but not tonight. Tonight I will just let it dwindle away until I am ready to search for it. -Kat- She wants to go home But nobody's home It's where she lies Broken inside But no place to go No plact to go To dry her eyes Broken inside She's lost inside Lost inside Oh oh yeah She's lost inside Lost inside Oh oh yeah