Alright...I'm going to save alot of you the trouble. Yesterday/Last night was possibly the worst 24 hours of my life, and this morning isn't shaping up too well either. So, if you care to know the detail, read on. If you don't, skip ahead to the botton and just read the usual rutines and motions. Ok, for those interested in what could possibly be so bad: First, I get off line from the previous night. Why so bad? Well, I ended the night basically on a mini-rant to one of my best friends that doesn't need to hear what's on my mind. She's got her own worries and doesn't need mine. Then I have this god-aweful nightmare. Basically, I don't think I ever want to go around a wolf or rabbit ever again! Then my alarm doesn't go off and I wake up 2 hours later than I needed. Then I spent the next few hours at the mall with my bro and some friends. I had to sit through lunch listening to how hard they had it with having to rent tuxes for prom. What the flying fuck?! You bastards at least have girlfriends or boyfriends to take to the prom! When was the last real relationship I ever had? Um...let me think...NEVER! Oh, and that conversation had to be the tip of the ice burg. *twitch* HELLO! Right here next to you four! *points to shattered heart on the wall and pieces on the wall* Have you seen me lately? So, we go to Barnes and Noble to kill time before we go see the movie Sin City. I'm browsing the manga section and art section with some friends, and I'm telling them off about the whole gay conversation. This nice young woman (or so I thought) walks by and she starts looking at the mangas too. They tell me to start up a conversation with her. I do. After about 20 minutes of talking about the logic behind Nightows Trigun characters. I ask if she'd like to join us in the caffee for a frap. She looks at me, and starts laughing. I ask what's funny. She said that she was only talking to be to get my buddy's name. *anime crash* Ok...I realize I'm not handsome and shit...that by 'traditional standards' I'm probably the farthest from a perfect guy. But come on!! You don't have to literally laugh in my face. After the movie, I came home to get a shower. I just broke. I locked the door to my room and startled bawling. God, I was pathetic. I mean...it just all callapsed in on me. I try being nice, I either get laughed at or come in 2nd place. I'm so sick and tired of being the constalation prize. Damn...I am just sick and tired of being tired. So, after cleaning myself up and the remains of a pillow that I ripped apart, I finally gave up one of my promises to myself. I called up everyone and got my spare poolstick out of the closet. I had to blow off some steam. It was just some friendly games until someone brought up that damned lunch conversation again. And to finsih is all off...I can't fricken sleep. I got home from the pool hall around midnight, and it's now 5:23 in the morning. That empty feeling in my stomach and heart is starting to feel like a hollowed cave with an echoing sound of the shattering most of everything I thought mattered. *sigh*At least there was two saving graces for today. 1.) Sin City. A fantastic movie. It's a bit slow to start, but damn *_* 2.) The thought that there are still some good people in this world (Jess, Paula, Baily, Winkler...). People like that make me realize that it does matter rather or not you are a good person or a sterotype. I mean, if I wasn't me, I wouldn't have them as friends. And I can take a few chuckles as long as I know they are there in the end. And that feeling...and them...I wouldn't trade for the entire world or all of it's riches. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. *shakes head* Well, that's enough rambling from me. I'm sorry for going on like that. But like a friend of mine said, these diaries are a good place to vent. So, thanks for listening, Doc Diaries. ^_^ This is Senji-ku/Ears signing off, saying ja mata and catch ya on the flip side.