today was....... an emotional day for me. i woke up in a rather good mood, still excited about the totally AWESOME game the colts played the other day.... then remembered i didn't have my homework done and thought..... oh crap. went to driver's ed, thought i was gonna fail a test on driving manual transmission, and ended up w/ a 54/55.... God is good. (all by himself!) ......2nd period i was really starting to feel the sleep deprivation, so i slept through half the class... good thing mr. ryder never cares when we nod off during his lectures...came home early since it was a half-day... was kinda happy bout the fact that i found almost 50 bucks in change laying around my room... yeah, i was excited bout that one. played poker w/ erik ross justin and gran, and ross won, but probably could have beat him if i didn't go all in blind 4 times in a row (hey, won the first 3 times... lol) but then my grandad came over... and for those of you who don't know, he's got macular degeneration... which means his eyes are deteriorating and he's going blind. which really sucks because his fave hobby is trapshooting, and over 40 years he's got a 96% shooting average. and yeah, that's awesome. but he came over because he can't drive at night and so erik had to drive him somewhere, and it literally brought tears to my eyes to think that before long he won't be able to see... you know how a little girl's hero is always her daddy? well, my grandad was always one of my heroes, and while my dad's definetly not one anymore, my grandad still is. so i was pretty bummed about that. then everyone left and i was home alone so i got online and jacob had left me a an offline message and i was about to send him one back when he got online so we ended up having a pretty heated discussion. it's one of those things that probably needed to be done, but it still hurt, because we went way back to where all this crap got started, and it was like licking the wound on the top of your mouth... i want to be his friend, i want to know him again, i want to understand him.... but i refuse to get myself caught up in his drama. that was my downfall last time, and i'm not about to do it again. *sigh* i'm just leaving it up to God. speaking of God... i got to stand in my youth room today!!!! the walls are going up on my church and i'm super excited!!!!!!!!!! so seeing how far it's come made me happy. i can't wait to let christine go berzerk on the walls... it'll be good times. i'm also excited cuz there's 9 days till convention and i get to go to youth tomorrow! yay rah! well... now i have chemistry homework and this turned out to be a rather loooong entry. so i'm out..... later daze! random quote of the day: If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. --Eryk (ouch, that brings back memories and metaphors...) Sabe