oh goodness...... i don't know what to do with myself... i am terrified... i mean, i was shaken up enough this morning... but now... i dunno... i just got the closest i've ever been to fighting with leah... and now i don't know what to do... i'm so confused, i don't know what to do... she's got me thinking... and i'm considering... but no, that would be like throwing away the past two years of my life... i just.... man, if i could draw... then i'd draw a picture of a girl in the middle of a white, windowless, doorless room, on her knees with her head in her hands... because that's what i feel right now.... yet at the same time... i feel completely exposed... like i'm naked on international television or something.... i'm gonna snap... and then i'm gonna break.... and it's not gonna be pretty... oh gosh, just shoot me, please... Kyr