lately ive been feeling so down and everything. by lately i dont mean today, or the past few days or anything. i mean the past few years. and nobody has noticed. ive felt like this for six years now. and its all just.. so.. oh i dont know. i try praying, ive talked to a couple people about it. but nothing helped. i feel useless and. lost. and.. many other things. its so hard to explain. but i dont think im depressed. im too happy to be depressed. my mom has asked me if im depressed. but.. course i said no. cause again, i dont think im depressed. one time somone tried telling me that i "need a man". dude the guy that told me that is like 37. he says hes "in love" with me. whatever. tis a good thang he dont know where i live ^__^ anyroad. right now. i dont have anyone to talk to about it. i want to talk to someone whos been through it. who is a christian.. and i dont know anyone who has at the moment. i mean i always try to make the best out of everything that goes on. but. no matter what i do. im never fully happy. never. some moments im happy.. certain thangs make me happy. but it doesnt last. it never does. sometimes i just put up a front. hide what im feeling. cause i dont want anyone to know. i dont want anyone to care. i dont want a bunch of people asking me about it. i cant help but hide how i feel. but now its getting hard to hide everything.. nothing seems right anymore.. i feel theres nothing i can do. no one to turn to.. i try my best to happy. but.. no matter how hard i try. i cant be completely happy.. ~two words one choice no regrets~