i am ...so crabby... why you ask? becauuusseee its like eight eh-effing-em and i do NOT want to be awake... AND last night, laney hit me across the face, i dont remember what it was about and i dont remember why or what all happened around this slap, but i know it really pissed me off...like a lot..so, of course i got angry, and started cussing and evidently said fuck or something to the damn five year old...and guess who gets in trouble, not her, not the slapper THE EFFINS SLAPEE...g'd her. arg. that was around like...seven, so...i got mad and do what i do when i get mad, run to m room, turn on some tunes, really loud, and talk to zion and see what he has to say...(aka play bass)... so i get ready for church and me and dad go...and it was all cool[saw a really hot kid with a mohawk, but not stefan, though i did see a picture of him in the church directory...btw, dan...its black, just really faded!=] ] anyways...then i got home and it was just madi and laney, then, me and laney were sitting by the computer, whoa...here...and i dont exactly remember what was going on, all i remember was it had something to do with ice cream...and then the damn kid hit me in the face again...grrr...and i got mad and did the same thing, told her to fuck off...and ran to my fortress of doom...and talked to zion, this time everything was really really loud. then, mom came home with bailey and...i dontknow dad told her to deal with it...and she came into the fortress of doom, and told me that i needed to give her my cell phone, until..well until approx. six o'clock today...and at that time, she would ask laney if i had treated her okay.. THE EFFING FIVE YEAR OLD DETERMINES WHEN I GET MY EFFING PHONE BACK...and then i was threatened to have to leave...again...i keep getting threatened that if i dont keep 'in check' i'll have to leave...do they not know at times thats what i want, i swear im bipolar, or manic depressive to say the least...and no one recognizes it. ...they always threaten to take my stuff away...like zion, she kept looking at it like should i take away her only friend? should i really be that much of a bitch?i think she feels bad, no, i take that back. i KNOW she feels bad, that me and madi have to sit here adn watch her kids everyday...and she has to work, she really didnt want a job this early...i dont really like her having a job either, i must admit..and a portion ofher whatever she makes adds to the always much needed wallet of brittany...no wait, we dont even get PAID to effing babysit..ive never thought about that...g'd it. wouldnt be so bad if i could have a friend spend the night, or go to their house...but...i can't...do either. all i want is just one night. just one. oh, and i really really extremely reccomend leaving comments if you read this, please...because otherwise i get lonely and bored and cant return the favor.