the year is almost over. no really. wait. the year is over! my year of adjusting is over. I've lived here for exactly one year. And today: im not sure how i feel.today i feel as if im lonely.i want to talk to her. TODAY.today, i want to talk.Friday i did not. This hurts me so,its like a burden i carry, not on my shoulders but in my heart. It is always on my mind. How can i let go of this when he's always in the way? She said she just saw them drive past. in a truck, no less. huh. seems strange to me that all of a sudden,im the "I'll surprise you at eight in the morning to get a ride and we'll make small talk then, and we won't see each other for the rest of the week." I used to be the "Hey we went to the zoo yesterday, so what shall we do after school?" but no.that;s him now. i've been replaced.they all say "oh, it happens when you have a boyfriend"and"you just need to broaden your friendship horizons". but he says, "i'm mad at you. you're tearing us apart when reallly, really it is me that is tearing the two of yuou apart. and why do you ask? because i used you to get to her. a girl i barely knew, and a girl with whom i had become close. i used that friend to get to a girl and now that you know it. well, what's the point in trying to be friends, you know my motives were insincere." well, maybe he doesn't say all that, but thats what he means and that;'s what he thinks.