so my day/night has been pretty interesting. so when i got home last night, i was sitting at my computer and i started talking to anna. turns out her family was being crazy and she really needed to get away for a bit. so its like 4 in the morning and we decide to skip off to steak n' shake. so me and anna sit at steak n' shake for a good six hours, just talking, and being silly, and talking about really serious important shit. it was great. i haven't really gotten to hang out with her much lately, and this was just a good session of talking. and we had fun. so she came over and i made food for us, and we watched some silly things on my computer. so that nighttime adventure resulted in me getting no sleep. now, don't get me wrong, i used to be the QUEEN of sleep deprivation. i had wretched insomnia and i'd be up for days on end. but lately, my sleep patterns have been normalizing a bit, so this has made me fuzzy focused and kinda silly all day. i had to work tonight too. but it was ok, because the weather was a misty beautiful and it was really slow at work, so i got off early. BUT BUT BUT......andy p. showed up to work. i love andy so much. he is the coolest waiter i've ever worked with, and he is just a fabulous person. while i sometimes overexude about people and use words like fabulous and wonderful, i really truly mean it about him. so that was a major pick me up. and he hugged me before he left, and i was like *drool* i don't know if i have a crush on him or i just would love to be his best friend or what. he's just plain great. so after i get off work, i wander down to the coffeehouse. mark is there, yay. mark is currently one of my best conversional partners. the tricky thing about this deal with mark though, is that i have a really wierd crush on him. first of all, he's really really intelligent, which is both stimulating and intimidating. i'm also attracted to him physically, and i love his bastard sarcastic biting edge. but, there are lots of reasons we've both pointed out that a relationship between us wouldn't really work, and theres the fact that i have a tendency to date and drop people, and i really don't feel comfortable risking our friendship. but it sucks. i was sitting there talkign to him tonight, and i found myself really preoccupied by how much i want to know what it would be like to kiss him. just to see how it made me feel. i think that something like that could help me determine how i feel about this. but i think that getting into that situation could make things really unconfortable and theres always the issue of one party feels something and the other doesn't. what to do then. the other crazy thing, is that i just really wanted him to touch me, and it ended up he was demonstrating his wacky akido/juijitsu skills on me, and that was almost enough. to feel his warm hands on mine... but then he left. and i was left kinda out of it, partly because of the sleep deprivation, partially because i'd really like to sort out how i feel about him, and somehow resolve it, because....as i mentioned, i really like him, in whatever capacity. oy. now i'm sittin here, really tired, but not quite ready to go to bed, because when i do, i'll just pass out.