well here i am again. in this crazy whirlwind i like to call my emotional dysfunction. so tonight started out pretty cool, i was really looking forward to going to work, cuz Awesome Waiter Andy has started working again. and i love him to pieces. downside #1, he now has a g/f right when i was on the verge of asking him out to dinner. downside #2, i found out he was A HELLUVA LOT older than a thought. like i was about um.......TEN YEARS OFF!! he's 32. good god. but anyway, i still had a good time chillin with him. in fact we decided that the day after i turn 18, he's taking me to vegas and we are gonna get married by elvis. woo. after i got off work, i went to the coffeehouse. i ran into mark. and my crush on mark has been growing at an alarming rate. so he could tell something was on my mind, and made me fess up. so i finally told him. i told him, "look, i'm falling for you. what the hell should i do"? i think i freaked him out a little bit. i know he's kinda interested back, but he knows me really well, and knows how i am in situations like this, and said he was afraid i'd change my mind. me too. i wish i could know for sure. the thing thats really driving me crazy is that i currently feel REALLY intensely for him....but there are a million reasons why it wouldn't work... it just doesn't make sense, but still, i'm blinded by the desire to just jump into his arms. i'm so nervous on how to proceed, because i'd really love to be more than friends, but i can't trust myself to really know what i want, and i can't afford to fuck him over, he's too damn great. so here i am. sitting here. frustrated and feeling crazy. what should i do? augh.