so i'm totally a nerd. today, i was thinkin about my various crushes, and what i should do about any of them.... so i made a freakin pro/con list. but there are really only two i'm dealing with right now. there's TJ, who i went on a date with the other night, and then theres my friend Jew Mark. i like TJ, if i can manage to keep myself from fleeing, as i do from most potential relationships, i think we could have a good time together. i've had a really huge crush on Mark for quite a while now. he knows about it, and we've talked about it before, whereupon we both decided that there are numerous reasons why it'd not be a good idea to pursue. however, i still have a big crush on him, even though i know it wouldn't really work, and i also dont' want to risk losing him as a friend, cuz he's fuckin cool. but its still a wierd situation. so tonight i was hangin out with him, and i'm trying to convince him to go to rocky with me and anna saturday night. that'd be fun. i also invited TJ, but apparently Rocky isn't his thang. too bad, i'd like to show myself off in a corset. but, while this isn't necessarily a terrible situation, its a little frustrating, because, as usual, i really don't know what i want. or rather, i know what i want, but i'm not sure if i should listen to that, because its most likely not the best judgement. i tend to really bollux stuff like this up. i suppose i'll continue how this is going, maybe see where things with TJ go... and as much as i want Mark, i really do think i should just keep him as a friend because he's too damn awesome to lose. dammit... janet...i love you.