i'm in one of those moods. again. yeah. big surprise. i'm just feeling low. nice weather out. its getting to that time of year, where cool summer nights make my skin feel delicious and my mind feel ill at ease. i'm lonely. i ran into jim (conformist) at work tonight. i will always have a crush on him. i have since i was 15. and i know, i will never have him. its so frustrating. and then theres the guy from the movie shoot, that was soooo hot. and so cowboy. and so great. but. so. 30. god.damn. i'm such a dork too. i wrote a little poem about our interplay. He hadn't slept in a while and didn't care i was 18 walking around cherokee street -shoeless i lent them to some other actress and ended up in his cowboy boots, twice the size of my feet- impossible to walk. his other hat plopped down over my eyes, i "howdy ma'amed" to the camera. barefoot again, i turned to leave quickly he held me close and called me "doll"