woah.. i havent updated in like foreverrrrrrrrr. well lets seeee saturday - did nothing all day. then went to the movies with steph. it was pouring out so we got all wet with our flip flops. haha. went and saw monster in law for the second time. love itttt. then went back to her house and slept over. sundauy - she got up at 6:45 and so did i and church didnt start till like 9. oh baby. w.e then we went to church and found out we were tye dying. well, some kid decides to ruin a pair of my pants. so now i only have 1 pair of jeans! woot woot. then i went home and um.. oh! got ready and went to my grandmas house. there, i slept over with the oh so amazing becca =) monday - woke up with becca at like 11:30 and made our famous norwegian pancakes. we suckkk. then, we danced to the Von Trapp Children in the kitchen. lmao. love ittttt. then i went with my fam and got stuff from target. love it there =D then i came home and read and went to beddd. tuesday - found out i got a 97 on my science test so im exempt from the final. yay =D um, i really cant remember. wow i suck at this. wednesday - 1st - took notes, nothing new. found out my final grade for all 4 marking periods is a 92 =D woot 2nd - made our m&m cookies 3rd - worked on our project. 4th - did more mong then needed. kyle still needs his two huggs.. ill give them to him tomorrow. 5th - had fun with the lunch table.. as alwayssss 6th - did gayness. talked to denis about hemp and getting fed up. so funny. that class is gaynesss 7th - finish indian movie. talked about Pi 8th - took gaynesss notes. i think ryder was getting mad at us cuz we were fooling around. not like we dont! then i came home, shoved all the food in my mouth i could, and went to the dentist, there, i got some sealance thing and my teeth pulled =X ouchhhyyyyy my gums kin hurt, but ill just keep poppin the pills. haha. it was very weird, but its one step closer to braces, which is one step closer to perfect teeth =D i cant wait for that day. well, jami told me she couldnt to go six flags =( so i asked kyle, sal and tito. hopefully they can come. and im hearing that we might not be able to hang out with other people on this trip? who knows. we better be able to. other wise ill be like RARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! haha. well, i think im gonna go. night lovers. x33 rachieeeeee

just got back from an amazing time with my jerkface =D woo.. but now im getting ready for the lovely becca :) ill update for real later, just wanted to write SOMETHING. haha. im stupid.. um, yea, i like you.. its not like i stopped, but i kinda didnt show it and gave up. but now, i think i really do. and i wanna be there for you, but idk how if you wont let me. please let me? rachiee

so today was pretty flippin boring! got up wayyyy to early cuz my dad was banging something outside. ok that sounded wrong. but he was working on something and it woke me up. so i came on and did nothing. i cleaned which was rare. hmm..then i went in the spa for a few. i love my spa =D its oh so relaxing!! then i took a shower. i love showers. wow im a loser. then i got ready for tonight. i cant wait =D. just me and my JERKFACE!!! haha. love it. well, im gonna go do whatever. heres some pics of the fabolus rachiee =D yea im hottt. lol. jk bye lovers.

so yesterday was the 2 year anniversary of the accident. just thought id repost this.. again. well on Thursday,April 8, 2004, my family and I got into a serious car accident. We were driving to San Fransisco and all of a sudden, my family and I see a car, hit the guardrail, fly up, spin around, and hit our car. Sadly, it hit my dad and caused him to be classified into criticle condition. He was bleeding through his eyes,ears, nose and mouth and from other places I couldn't tell. When then car had all the windows blown out, I was in the back and wasn't enough hurt to tell so I hopped out of the car window and around the car. To see my mom with a huge lump on her head and then my grandma with blood and my sister with a huge black eye, it was scary. Then, to see my dad, with all this blood and not breathing at first, scared me so bad. Then he started to breathe, but had blood and other fluids in his lungs. So he was tryin to breathe, but wasn't getting alot of air. As I was freaking out, I was trying to calm my dad down, by holding his hands from trying to lift the car celing off of him, and not very hrad, but smacking his face to keep him awake. It worked for the most part, and he even opened his eye to see me before he closed them. Then, the workers made me get away and took me into the ambulance. That was the last I saw of my dad's face, until the hospital. When I got to the hospital, I was put in the same room as my sister. She had a big black eye and was wearing a neck brace. Wasn't pretty. Later that night, i saw my mom and my grandma. My mom had a big lump on her head and broke her ankle in 3 places. My grandma only had a broken finger. When I saw my dad, I broke down. With a bunch of wires on him and not the greatest breathing happening with the breathing tube, it would scare even the fearless. He wasn't doing to great as we could see, but the doctors had done tests and x-rays and cat scans and everything possible to help him. All that mattered to me right then and there and even now, is that he is still breathing. He is progressing everyday and even wiggled his toes and moved his leg and neck for us. For the doctors he squeezed his hand and opened his eyes, but that was in the helicopter and before surgery. I just have on thing to ask. That if everyone could just pray for my dad and ask God for him to stay aliuve, that my mom,sister and grandmother recover and become better. I don't care what religion you are, just please pray for my family. If you did that, I am thankful and thank you with all of my heart. For people who have been through sumthing like this, you know how it is and what needs to be done. Also that miricles can happen. Well, that was my story, and there is more to come. I pray to God everyday for life of my dad and understand how valueable life really is. Thank you to everyone who cares enough and isn't afraid to pray. Thank you. Rachel

honestly, idk what to say. steph and mark are going out again. im done with it. i cant take her breaking his heart and her just going back to kurt. if shes really gonna "love" him and she better do it. i dont like this feeling of knowing shes just gonna go back to him. ughh. well this weekend was pretty awesome.hung out with ed like all day yesterday and all day today. it was awesome :P i need a dose of becca. hopefully that will happen this saturday. wild cats sucks this year. to be honest. its like nowhere near last years. i dont see us going anywhere. oh well. im beat. peace. edd x33

k. so. i like ed. alot. he is a cuuuttteeee boy. hes christian. hes funny. hes nice. and i just like him alot. i didnt get to see him at all today. idk if you can count the .5 seconds while he was on the bus going somewhere and i was outside for the fire drill and he took down the window and waved to me. aweee. hes adorable. i wish i could have seen him today :( oh well. i have tomorrow. party :D and then we have like a freaking week break so maybe some things will happen then. hmm :) <33

ok so tons has been going on. last night was freaking AWESOME!! after school mel, steph and kait came over and we just chilled and ate lettuce and gummy bears. haha. then we went to the HS and watched the wrestling match. casey came too :) and kim was there and this little kid was like attched to her and she hates little kids so it was entertaining. hahaha. then we all went different ways and mel came over my house and we made signs for kait, steph, casey and mesha. we were the idiots in the back jumping up and down with signs. hahahha. it was sooooo funny. im glad we didnt get kicked out. that would have sucked.then i got a hug from him :) yay. then we all went to franks. me, steph,kait, mel, mark, matt and stephs mom. that was just an night in itself. canoli = oh boy. steph cant win a fight. ahhaha. i love you guys ♥ so today im going to makr cookies with my grandma ♥ :) should be freaking awesome. alright im gonna to take a shower. peaceeeeee

so last night was the game. i had mucho fun. kait and i went together. we were bundled up like little eskimos. haha. so when we got there.. i saw matt but i kinda avoided him cuz idk i didnt feel like having him follow me the whole time. lol. so kait and i found ky and pete and tyler. tyler was like a huge jerk the whole night but it was funny. mark was actually hyper... evern though he left today for the NG :/ hope he comes home soon. but it was fun. he asked for my scarf so i gave it to him and then he kept saying there was a bug on my hot chocolate and kept stealing it to drink it. i was like FINE JUST HAVE IT. haha. hes such a ham and bologna sandwhich. :P thennnnn i was talking to mel about rice cuz there was this chinese kid in lunch today who had a shirt on that said got rice? lmao. but in mid convo some kid came up to me and covered my eyes and started like screaming and making funny noises in my ear and i was like uhhhh someone who i love dearly? and i turned around and it was ERICCCCCCCCC. ahhh i love him. hes freaking nuts. haha. then i had a talk with dev. it was nice to finally talk to him and have a normal convo. buttttt he still owes me 40 bucks. jerk. omg and i saw justin heintz.. coolest kid ever. he took his hair out and yea.lol. hes feaking awesome. then the game ended and we won.. 19-8. what what!? states here we come! i waana relive last night. it was funnn. ♥ ;; rachhh

which one do i wear to the party?

its like ill never be pretty enough. no matter what i do. its always her. the one who gets everything and sometimes i need it. i know there are other people in the world who get nothing, but i hate being around her sometimes cuz its just all about her. like i have to beg for attention. i wish i was prettier i guess. im never good enough. but the thing is, i tell myself i dont want a boy but i want the attention. am i insane? ♥ ;; rachh

hmmm... steph and mark are going out and idk why but it makes me angry. maybe cuz steph said she didnt want a bf for a while... guess that was a lie. then i got left in the woods by my bio teacher. then we had a fire drill cuz someone pulled the fire alarmso then it prolonged my lunch. then i went to ask when we should be back for lab period and she like gave me an attitude like it was MY fault SHE left me in the woods. i was like w.e. so i had called my dad and asked him to bring me my coat and he brought it too late and the wrong one. so i froze kinda...then i had like 5 min to eat lunch. and of course when i walk into lunch, mark and steph are right there... and mark isnt even in my lunch. so wtf. then i have like 4 tests tomorrow in like everything. i have powder puff pratice and wild cats tonight.. and the same thing tomorrow. oh and my dad yelled at me cuz he waited outside the school for me when i told him i would call him. it was a nice jesture but like i wasnt ready to leave. i didnt wanna get to the persons house before they even got to their own house. so he like flipped on me. and in front of my sister and her friends and steph. so today has just been a bad day. oh and mark like laughs at my brother and im like WTF IS SO FUNNY. and he wont tell me and its ticking me off cuz there is NO reason for him to be laughing at him. like i dont laugh at your family and the fact your mom left and you have no one and your gonna die in the war. i dont laugh at that. so like wtf. uhhh im just flipping on everyone. i just wanna cry atleast i have nice people to make me happy. i x3 youuu rachhhh

yea so i love taking picures!

k so im obsessed with making my pictures pretty ¢¾

uhhhhhh friday was like cool beansness. lol. had an awesome day at school. then came home and got ready for the football game. gooooooood times man. hung out with the 'posse' nicole and i made. haha. it was me, nicole, kyle, scott, katalynn and gina. too funny. we are so weird i love it ¢¾. thennnn i went to katalynn's house to sleep over with gina. omg. too funny. gina and i are getting a weiner dog and making it eat so its fat as anything. then we are going to put a tredmill on really high speed then shoot it across the room into gina's fridge. lmao. then we are going to bowl with it and put it on the tredmill again and make it knock down pins. hahahahahahahaahahahaha we are nutssssssss. sooo last night i went with gina and steph to the movies. we saw Just Like Heaven. sad/comdey/happy movie. but guess who else was there? our rivals. and of course they have to sit right behind us and be total gayness. w.e we got over it. then we were talking to the little hopatcong people and this kid started talking to us about some gayness i cant remember. haha. weirdddddddd. then we went back to stephs house and chilled. i was REALLYYY hyper so i jumped around like a compleye idiot cuz im just uber cool. lol. then we had to take gina home :( sad faceeeee. but we had some good times. then i went back with steph and we got ready for bed.. laid in bed and talked about how much we miss our boys and want them back and no matter how hard we try to forget em, its going to be extreamly hard. uhhhh i cant get him off my mind. like i was reading old convos i had saved cuz im like retarted and at one point he had come back from and away and was like "babe, i love you" idk why but i was just like wow. i had him and now hes gone and i could have been friends with him and been happy for him and that we were atleast friends. but no. oh well. what can i do ya know? i just feel like i need him in my life. weather as a friend or boyfriend. weve just been there for eachother for a while and its not something you can just let go right away. i just hope he thinks about me sometimes too. even if its bad. atleast he thought about me. god i sound really desperate. crap. just this whole day has been like I NEED HIM. rach..

ok so once again nick and i have broken up. (this happened yesterday) idk whats wrong with me. he keeps telling me its not my fault but i need a real reason to why we broke up so i just blame it on myself. i hardly got any sleep last night. but once i finally was alseep, my mom came in at like 5:45 and i have basically been up since then. on and off crying and sleeping. idk what to do with myself. its not like he was my whole life, but it was something, someone rather, to look forward to every morning. now its just going to be blah for the rest of my life. doubt im gonna find anyone else. im too screwed up for anyone to actually love me. uhhh. im beating myself up of this for no reason. i just want it to be tomorrow. so i can go to beccas and forget all about him for two days atleast. but ya know what the funny thing was? i told steph and some others that i was counting the days till we broke up. i even told steph that i bet you hes gonna break up with me today. and sure enough, he does. idk. i need help. i need to not be so hard on myself and just look at it as his loss. "You'll never ever find a girl Who loves you more than me" -- so true =/ ♥

maybe more laterrr

today is my birthdaY!!! yay. im FINALLY 15!!!!!! and its my anniversary. uh today is amazing! <3

hey whores! check this outttttt www.myspace.com/thetrendyshit add me =D ♥

yea so im thinking of starting this up again. i need to get some of my feelings out. cuz other wise i sit here and keep em held up inside and never get em out! so yea. i love you nick

dont you love people who leave you mean comments? oh well.. keep doing it. entertains me.. really.