yea.. my dad decided to go and tell my brother to clean out my computer. so he did that and i guess while i was sleeping, my dad decided to go through my files and old convos i had saved. i guess he found some stuff he didnt like but whats done is done. i feel so violated its not even funny. and ever since then, hes been flipping on me. its been about the worst christmas. this year could have been waaaayyy better if my dad hadnt decided to go and go though my files. oh! and get this.. he tells me hes gonna go and buy me a new computer! haha.. what a joke. i wanna like yell at him so bad and just flip and be like why did you go into my files? what possessed you to go into the computer and check out all the stuff i do. i hate that. i wish i wasnt going through this right now. and i hate it cuz he prob showed my mom. which is even better. cuz now both of my parents hate me for people cursing at me. great big fricking whoop. i just wanna cry my eyes out and freak. i shouldnt even live in this house anymore. i feel sooooo unloved. i feel like the whole world is against me for something i dont even know what i did. im so mad right now and having ( my ) worst christmas ever. FANTASTIC. and then becca goes and calls and my dad is like get off the phone, i dont want you talking to any people right now. im like >=O its BECCA!! and shes pratically crying too.. so what the heck. i cannot wait to go to beccas. just sit back and go on the triple date of doom and come back and watch yet another movie. i pray everything will be worked out and for him not to be mad at me and forgive me. i hate my dad being mad at me. considering that he almost died. i cannot stand this. i wish there was someone i could go to ( besides becca cuz i know her and i are prob both crying right now ) to just spill. and cry on there shoulder and have them tell me its ok. god i pray. and i dont even feel like i should get any presents. and when my dad is around other people hes all nice to me and stuff and then when we are alone downstairs doing our own thing, he flips. i do nothing and he FLIPS! i hate it. yea you read something and it hurt you but why the heck were you there in the first place? to "check up on me" did you ever do that to brenton or steph? i dont think so. what singles me out to be the bad guy. maybe i was having a fight with someone and anger was expressed but what can i do. whats done is done. i cant do anything about it. god i pray. im gonna go and talk to becca and then go to bed. c yaaa <3 always Rach