I haven't really had anything to write lately because this was my diary that I have so that no one I know would read it. I haven't had sex in 10 months, now thats an accomplishment! Especially for me. For those of you who are the devil advocates or whatever...there have been way too many pportunities and i said no or didn't have to say no in all of them. I am a changed person right now and it's hard in transit. I want to be a better person...I think I am growing up. I want to be proud of myself. I want to know I did something worthwhile and changed a life or a few lives. I like knowing that i helped someone through their pain or life. I like knowing that I made an impact. I have no idea what I want to do when I grow up except for that...I want to change, impact or help lessen the load of someone. I guess I just don't know what else to do. I mena i am not good at anything else. I want to be a success in what i do...everybody does. I mean it sucks to be mediocre at everything trust me i know! Those are my thoughts about myself right now.