Easter was...I dunno, perfect. I stayed up the night before doing laundry and reading a romance novel about magicians who fall in love and watching Kids in the Hall. I kept thinking that I did not want to go to the family Easter dinner thing because everyone is weird around me and makes me uncomfortable. But I went and I was sitting at the table looking at people and just feeling whole inside and like that feeling is enough to live for and why do I care if they are uncomfortable around me? I cannot help it if I remind them of my mom. Period. I'm over it. So, I'm sitting there, feeling full of positive energy and my little brother just walks up to me and tells me he loves me out of the blue and then walks off. I can't explain how I felt. Like I was drowning in peace. And I'm thinking of going to nursing school after college (because what can you do with an English degree?). And I'm having ups and downs but I'm not staying down. No one can hold me down but me. My head is going to stay above water and its because I know I'm not alone. I'm no longer wanting everything and getting nothing. I'm just living today. And I realize that I've been a bit of a drag to read (and communicate with) lately. Sincere apologies all around.