•Single? very •Your birth date: 01*09*86 • Your age: 19 •Age you wish you were: 21 • Your height: 5*7 •The color of your eyes: brown • Happy with it? wish they were hazel •The color of your hair: brown,red, blonde • Happy with it?: yes • Left/right/ambidextrous?: right • Your living arrangement?: in a dorm with some crazy roomates.. •Have any pets?: no •What's your job: keep my nephew... • Piercings?: ears • Tattoos?: 20th b-day • Addictions: halo...texas hold em, america's next top model... •Do you speak another language?: espanol! • Have a favorite quote? not really DEEP THOUGHTS ABOUT LIFE AND YOU IN IT: •Do you live in the moment? more for the future •Do you consider yourself tolerant of others? more than i should be •Do you have any secrets? yes •Do you hate yourself? sometimes •Do you like your handwriting? no •Do you have any bad habits? biting my nails and twirling my hair...belching really loudly •What is the compliment you get from people the most? you're hot/beautiful •If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called? never thought about that •What's your biggest fear? failure •Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool? haven't tried that lately maybe i should •Are you a loner? no •What are your number one priorities in life? getting into med school. • If you were another person, would you be friends with you? of course • Are you a daredevil? no • Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself? im not getting into that • Are you passive or aggressive? leaning more towards passive, just dont piss me off • Have you got a journal? yes • Do you think you are emotionally strong? no • Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life? yes •The most important lesson you've learned from life? family is important... • What do you like the most about your body? my butt and legs • Do you think you are good looking? yes • Are you confident? i can be • Do people know how you feel? when i tell them • Are you perceived wrongly? sometimes DO YOU... • Smoke?: have before • Do drugs?: have before • Read the newspaper? the ads on sunday • Pray?: no • Do you go to church?no • Talk to strangers who IM you? no... • Sleep with stuffed animals? not anymore • Take walks in the rain? yes • Talk to people even though you hate them? hahah nope • Drive? yes HAVE YOU EVER... •Liked your voice? yes •Hurt yourself? by accident •Been out of the country? no •Eaten something that made other people sick? yes •Had sex? yes •Been unfaithful? yes? • Been in love?: doubt it • Had a medical emergency? yes • Had a surgery? yes • Ran away from home: yes • Played strip poker? yes • Gotten beaten up? no • Beaten someone up? yes • Been picked on? yes • Been on stage? yes • Slept outdoors? yes • Pulled an all-nighter? yes • Gone one day without food? yes • Talked on the phone all night? yes • Slept all day? no • Made out with a stranger? yes • Sex with a stranger? no • Kissed the same sex? yes • Been betrayed? yes • Broken the law? yes • Have you ever killed an animal by accident? HECK NO • On purpose? DEF NOT • Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell? yes • Stolen anything? yes • Been on radio/TV? yes • Had a nervous breakdown? yes CLOTHES AND OTHER FASHION: • Current shoe brand? adidas, rainbows, new balance, whatever... • Cologne/perfume? Lucky, Happy Heart, Happy, Glow, Cherry Blossom • Wear hats? no • Judge other people by their clothing? sometimes • Wear make-up? yes • Favorite article of clothing? t-shirts or jackets • Are you trendy? i guess • Would you rather wear a uniform to school? no FRIENDS: •Do you have any gay/lesbian friends? no •Who is your best friend?: Emily •Who's the one person that knows most about you? Emily or Josh •What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you? hang in there... -Do you remember your first love? yes • Do you consider love a mistake? sometimes • What do you find romantic? candle lit dinners, walks on the beach, kissing in the rain, slow dancing... TURN ONS... • Turn-on? eyes, smile, personality... • Turn-off? being a player... • Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive? yes • What is best about the opposite sex? how strong they are...emotionally and physically • What is worst about the opposite sex? they're confusing • Do you read porn? maybe...haha • What's the last present someone gave you? i don't know • What do you dislike most? people that are stupid WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON... • You wanted to kill? Katherine this morning when she was SCREAMING and i was sleeping • That you laughed at? Todd • That laughed at you? Todd • That turned you on? Daric...friday night • You went shopping with? myself • That broke your heart? daric... • To disappoint you? emily • To ask you out? ty • To make you cry? Joshua • To brighten up your day? Jason • That you thought about? my grandmother • You talked to on the phone? people at the writing center • You talked to in person? dana or katherine WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU: • Smiled? today • laughed? today • Cried? a week ago • Danced? Thursday • Were sarcastic? today • Kissed someone? Friday • Had a nightmare? 2 nights ago • Talked on the phone? today • Listened to the radio? in the car last night • Watched TV?: tonight • Went out? thursday • Were mean? i dunno...yesterady • Sang? in the car last night • Saw a movie? looong time • Said "I Love You."? dont remember • Missed someone? today • Fought with a family member? dont' know • Had a serious conversation? hmmmm • Got drunk? thursday night

Southern girls know bad manners when they see them: 1. Drinking straight out of a can. 2. Not sending thank you notes. 3. Velvet after February. 4. White shoes before Memorial Day or after Labor Day Southern girls always say: 1. "Yes, ma'am." 2. "Yes, sir." Southern girls have a distinct way with fond expressions: 1. "Y'all come back now, ya heaah." 2. "Well, bless your heart." 3. "Drop by when you can." 4. "How's your mama?" 5. "Love your hair." Southern girls know their three R's: 1. Rich 2. Richer 3. Richest Southern girls know everybody's first name: 1. Honey 2. Darlin' 3. Shugah Southern girls know the movies that speak to their hearts: 1. "Gone With the Wind" 2. "Fried Green Tomatoes" 3. "Driving Miss Daisy" 4. "Steel Magnolias" Southern girls know their cities dripping with Southern charm: 1. Hotlanta or Adlanna (Atlanta as outsiders say) 2. Richmon 3. Challston 4. S'vannah 5. Birminham 6. Nawlins' 7. Oh! and that city in Alabama ? It's pronounced MUNTGUMRY! Southern girls know the three deadly sins: 1. Bad hair 2. Bad manners 3. Bad blind dates

Correction from last entry...i was just reminded at dinner tonight that I'm 0% pure...so yeah I wonder who else is. Sad feeling b/c roomates aren't here. :( i wrote on Katherine's door..."Hunger strike til Kuszy comes back" with a sad face. Funny quote from a conversation: uScHiKaDeE234 (9:10:07 PM): what did he say PrInCeSsLaLa19 (9:10:17 PM): he was just like hey what's up PrInCeSsLaLa19 (9:10:33 PM): i always imagine him swishing back he hair when he says that PrInCeSsLaLa19 (9:10:39 PM): you know like movie stars do uScHiKaDeE234 (9:10:40 PM): hahaha

The Purity Test! Start with 100%, take away 5% for everything you've done on this list. 1.) Smoked. 2.) Drank alcohol. 3.) Hooked up with someone while intoxicated. 4.) Done drugs. 5.) Given a handjob/gotten a handjob. 6.) French kissed. 7.) Felt someone up and/or been felt up. 8.) Made out with 2 seperate people in a 12 hour period. 9.) Had sex and/or got really close to having sex. 10.) Shared a man/girl with 1 of your really close friends. 11.) Watched porn. 12.) Cheated on your boyfriend and/or girlfriend. 13.) Done any sexual act on school campus. 14.) Peed on someone's property and/or goverment property. 15.) Had sex and/or messed around in your room, while your parents aren't home. 16.) Had sex and/or messed around in a public place or somewhere with a least 1 person present. 17.) Given a blowjob and/or had a blowjob. 18.) Having someone of the opposite sex in your room. 19.) Been fingered and/or fingered someone. 20.) Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room, after being out. OMG...i'm so not pure...5%...lol and i think that's only b/c i can't remember ever doing a sexual act on school campus...i have on school property like a bus...but yeah that's about it. Lacy PS. I had a great quote this week. "I'm not a whore, I'm just kinky!"

"There are three things a girl needs in her life... a few mixed drinks, some cute boys, and those amazing friends that allow her a shoulder to lean on when the mixed drinks turn into more than a few, and those cute boys get the best of her..."

I haven't written in this thing in a while...prolly b/c I've been really busy and partying a bit too much! Lol. Anyhooo....this semester has been kinda hectic. First of all...move in...then a party where some guy tried to hit me...then parking tickets....i find out my grandmother has breast cancer...my cat was put to sleep yesterday...not to mention meeting all these incredibly hot guys and not remembering their names. Geez. My roomate is AMAZING. She turns 21 Friday and me and our other "roomate" are going out and gettin CRUNK! So tonight I'm going to a guys house named Tres...pronounced like Trey...to eat some pizza with Katherine. She thinks we'll be a cute couple and he seems interested. So yeah...good news. Um...i'm trying to think what else has gone on. OH! Went to a sex toy party at Katherine's sisters place...so much fun! And of course I bought some stuff. Anyhoo I think that's all...I have to go read and take a nap and shower before Chem. And I can't miss it considering I skipped the first day! lol. ::KISSES:: Lacy **Let's make our presence known...let's show them what we're made of**

If you've seen more than 70 of these movies then you're a movie whore... put your total at the bottom (x)Pirates of the Caribbean ( )Boondock Saints ( )The Mexican (x)Fight Club ( )Starsky and Hutch (x)Neverending Story ( )Blazing Saddles (x)Garden State (x)The Princess Bride ( )Young Frankenstien (x)AnchorMan (x)Napoleon Dynamite (x)Saw ( )White noise (x)White Oleander ( ) Anger Management total here : 8 (x) 50 First Dates ( ) Jason X (x)Scream (x)Scream 2 (x)Scream 3 (x)Scary Movie (x)Scary Movie 2 ()Scary Movie 3 (x)American Pie (x)American Pie 2 (x)American Wedding ( )Harry Potter ( )Harry Potter 2 ( )Harry Potter 3 ( )Resident Evil I ( )Resident Evil 2 ( )The Wedding Singer ( )Little Black Book total here : 9 ( )The Village ( )Donnie Darko (x)Lilo & Stitch (x)Finding Nemo (x)Finding Neverland (x)13 Ghosts (x)Signs ( )The Grinch ( )Texas Chainsaw Massacre (x )White Chicks (x)Butterfly Effect (x)Thirteen going on 30 ( )I Robot (x)Dodgeball ( )Universal Soldier ( )A Series Of Unfortunate Events ( ) Along Came A Spider ( )Deep impact total here : 9 ( )KingPin (x)Never Been Kissed (x)Meet The Parents (x)Meet the Fockers ( )Eight Crazy Nights (x)A Cinderella Story (x)The Terminal ( )The Lizzie McGuire Movie ( )Passport to Paris (x)Dumb & Dumber ( )Dumb & Dumberer ( )Final Destination ( )Final Destination 2 ( )Halloween (x)The Ring ( )The Ring 2 ( )Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (x)Practical Magic (x)Chicago ( )Ghost Ship ( )From Hell ( )Hellboy (x)Secret Window ( )I Am Sam (x)The Whole Nine Yards ( )The Whole Ten Yards ( )The Day After Tomorrow ( )Child's Play ( )Bride of Chucky (x)Ten Things I Hate About You (x)Just Married (x)Gothika ( )Nightmare on Elm Street (x)Sixteen Candles ( )Bad Boys ( )Bad Boys 2 ( )Joy Ride (x)Seven (SE7EN) ( )Oceans Eleven ( )Oceans Twelve (x)Identity total here : 17 ( )Lone Star ( ) Predator I ( )Predator II (x)Independence day ( )Cujo ( )A Bronx Tale ( )Darkness Falls ( )Christine (x) ET ( )Children of the Corn ( )My boss' daughter (x)Maid in Manhattan ( )Frailty ( )Best bet (x)How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (x)She's All That (x)Calendar Girls ( )Sideways ( )Mars Attacks total here : 6 ( )Event Horizon (x)Ever after ( )Forrest Gump ( )Big Trouble in Little China ( )X-men 1 ( )X-men 2 ( )Catch Me If You Can (x)The Others ( )Freaky Friday ( )Reign of Fire ( )The Hot Chick (x)Swimfan ( )Miracle (x)Old School (x)Ray (x)The Notebook ( )K-Pax total here : 6 (x)Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring ( )Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers ( )Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (x)A Walk to Remember ( )Boogeyman ( )Hitch ( )Back Door Sluts 9 ( ) Anal Acres 1 ( ) Anal Acres 2 ( ) B-Cup Divas ( )The Fifth Element ( )Star Wars episode I The Phantom Menace ( )Star Wars episode II Attack of The Clones ( )Star Wars episode III Revenge of The Sith ( )Star Wars episode IV A New Hope (x)Star Wars episode V The Empire Strikes Back (x)Star Wars episode VI Return of The Jedi... ( )Troop Beverly Hills ( )Swimming with Sharks ( )Air Force One (x)For Richer or Poorer ( )Trainspotting ( )People under the stairs ( )Blue Velvet ( )Sound of music (x)Parent Trap ( )The Burbs ( )The Terminator (x)Empire Records (x)SLC Punk (x)Meet Joe Black (x)Wild girls ( )A Clockwork Orange ( )the Order (x)Spiderman ( )Spiderman 2 ( )Amelie total here : 11 (x)Mean Girls (x)Shrek (x)Shrek 2 (x)The Incredibles ( )Collateral (x)The Fast & The Furious (x) 2 Fast 2 Furious ( )Sky Captain & The World of Tomorrow ( )Closer total here : 6 (x)Titanic (x)Saved ( )Bowling For Columbine ( )Farenheit 9/11 (x)The Sixth Sense ( )Artificial intelligence (AI) ( )Love actually ( )Shutter ( )Ella Enchanted (x)Princess diaries 1 ( )Princess diaries 2 ( )Constantine ( )Million Dollar Baby ( )Envy (x)Eurotrip ( )Malibu's Most wanted (x)Big Daddy (x)Black Sheep (x)The Breakfast Club ( )West side story total here : 8 ( )A Christmas Story ( )Spanglish ( )Pulp Fiction ( )Sleepover ( )The Evil Dead ( )Killer Klowns From Outer Space ( )The seed of chucky ( )Vanilla Sky (x)Nightmare Before Christmas ( )Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind ( )Interview With The Vampire ( )The Crow ( )Purple Rain ( )Reservoir Dogs ( )Wayne's World total here : 1 ( )Wayne's World 2 ( )21 Grams ( )Blow (x)Edward Scissorhands ( )Clerks (x)beauty and the beast (x)Guess who ( )monster in-law (x)eLF ( )stuart little ( )stuart little 2 ( )Mall Rats (x)Chasing Amy (x)Dogma ( )Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back total here : 6 (x)Beetlejuice (x)Last Samurai ( )The Amityville Horror (old or new) ( )The Aviator (x)Romeo and Juliet ( )beauty shop (x)legally blonde ( )legally blonde 2 ( )the forgotten (x)confessions of a teenage drama queen (x)grudge ( )wimbledon (x)bring it on (x)bring it on again ( )flight of the phoenix ( )johnsons family vaction ( )vegas family vacation ( )thirteen days total here : 8 ( )2001: a space odessy ( )dr. strangelove how i came to love the bomb (x)indiana jones and the temple of doom ( )animal house (x)happy gilmore (x)Rocky Horror Picture Show (x)Beavis and Butthead do America (x)School Of Rock ( )GodFather I ( )Godfather II ( )Godfather III ( )Scarface total here : 5 ( )Any Given Sunday ( )The Art of War ( )Still, We Believe total here : 0 How about these: ( )Queen of the Damned ( )Reality Bites ( )The Wall ( )Once Upon a Time in Mexico ( )Spirited Away ( )Cowboy Bebop: The Movie ( )Good Morning Vietnam (x)Mrs. Doubtfire (x)Bruce Almighty (x)Home Alone (x)Home Alone 2 (x)Home Alone 3 (x)The Mighty Ducks (x)The Mighty Ducks 2 (x)The Mighty Ducks 3 total here : 8 ( )Memphis Belle ( )Last of the Mohicans ( )Shawshank Redemption ( )Spy Kids ( )Spy Kids 2 ( )Spy Kids 3-D ( )Dark City ( )Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants ( )Minority Report (x)beaches ( )Sweet Home Alabama ( )Dracula 2000 ( )Citizen Kane total here : 1 BLAH!

So...I'm moving out in less than 2 days. I'm excited! I don't know what's going on with me and a certain person...he's said some things to friends of mine that kinda throw me off. So I dont' know and I'm not sure what I even want anymore. BUT... There is a new guy in the picture. Hopefully something will come out of whatever's going on. It seems to be going well right now but you never know. I just want to be happy and since that last entry about 2 weeks ago..i still haven't accomplished that. So i'm going to go sit on my ass and watch tv and eat some chocolate until i feel better or throw up...which ever comes first. And then i'll go work my ass off in the gym for the rest of the year. :) ::XoXo:: Lacy Poo

I'm dedicating this song from the Starting Line to me. Fits. So it's safe to say that we've been here before; Heart torn out, down for the count and still come back for more. This lesson is learned too well. Though, only unlearned by the time your wounds have healed. Have you had enough? I guess not because your lips are stuck to his. It's Time to say enough is enough, you would be so better off. You love him but tough because it's not coming back from him. You can't win. Stop expecting change, he's just a lost cause that you're waiting on. Take a look around, you could have anyone. So leave undeserving him. It only hurts at first. But then you will find someone to give you everything you want. Try not to go running back to him. So it goes unsaid that we've been here before. Lonely nights and endless fights and sleeping on the floor. And he's sorry, so the story goes. It's read and replayed and ends the same way Stop expecting change, he's just a lost cause that you're waiting on. Take a look around, you could have anyone. So leave undeserving him. Stop expecting change, he's just a lost cause that you're waiting on. Take a look around, you could have anyone. So leave undeserving him.

"Find a guy who calls u beautiful instead of hott. Who calls u back when you just hung up on him. Who thinks u are perfect even though he knows the worst thing about u..who will stay awake just to watch u sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses ur forehead. Who holds ur hand in front of his friends..who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup.. reminds u of how lucky he is to have u. The one who plays with ur hair..and the ONE who turns to his friends and says "that's her!" ::sigh:: Self-explanatory I believe. Lacy

10 Years Ago, I... 1. lived in West Columbia 2. took clogging 3. played soccer 4. swam on a swim team 5. thought boys had cooties 5 Years Ago, I... 1. was a freshman 2. won a gold medal 3. had my first serious relationship 4. made alot of new friends 5. quit clogging Yesterday, I... 1. went to montereys 2. saw the Dukes of Hazzard 3. worked 4. babysat drunk people 5. hung out w/ Josh, Emily, and TO Today, I... 1. cleaning 2. went to rush's 3. will go shopping 4. will go to bed early 5. woke up at 11:00 Tomorrow, I will... 1. go to work 2. take a nap 3. watch TV 4. pack 5. talk to some people 5 Snacks I Enjoy: 1. popcorn 2. Chips and Salsa 3. Baked Doritos 4. Soy chips 5. Wheat thins 5 Songs I Know all the Words to, Even Without the Music: 1. Carolina Girls 2. AGC - Sed Bello 3. Josh Kelley - Home to me 4. Kelis - Milkshake 5. Kelly Clarkson - Since you've been gone 5 Things I Would Do With $1000: 1. go shopping 2. pay off college... 3. buy some Coach or Louis Voiton purses 4. buy a digital camera 5. get a new cell phone Top 5 Locations I`d Like to Run Away To: 1. Laguna Beach, CA 2. Italy 3. New York 4. the beach 5. the mountains in the fall 5 Bad Habits I Have: 1. biting my nails 2. twisting my hair 3. burping 4. cursing 5. being too health conscious 5 Things I like Doing: 1. sleeping 2. going out/partying 3. swimming 4. rockin' out 5. driving my car! 5 Things I Would Never Wear: 1. a mullet 2. a fanny pack 3. tappered jeans 4. acid wash jeans 5. tennis shoes with a nice skirt 5 TV shows I Like: 1. Laguna Beach 2. The Real World 3. One Tree Hill 4. GIlmore Girls 5. Law and Order SVU 5 Movies I Like: 1. Mean Girls 2. The Notebook 3. Green Mile 4. Sixteen Candles 5. The Breakfast Club 5 Famous People I'd like to Meet: 1. Audrey Hephburn 2. Jessica Simpson 3. Rachel McAddams 4. Jesus 5. Johnny Knoxville or Bam 5 Facts about me: 1. I have a nephew 2. Im always bored 3. I hate thunderstorms 4. Charleston is the best place in the world 5. I'm a beer pong champ! 5 Random Thoughts: 1. I'm full 2. Cleaning chemicals STINK 3. 1 week til i move in to my dorm 4. I wish it were next weekend 5. Boys are confusing!

LAST PERSON WHO . Slept in your bed: my bed is too small...i slept in darics bed last night . Saw you cry: um...Daric...maybe emily and mallory . You shared a drink with: Emily . You went to the movies with: Emily, Daric, and Phillip . You went to the mall with: emily . Yelled at you: Daric . Sent you an email: my mom HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO... . California: yes . Hawaii: no . Mexico: no . New York: no . Las Vegas: no HAVE YOU EVER: . Danced naked: I don't think so . Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: yes . Wish you were the opposite sex: yup . Do you have a crush on someone: yes . What book are you reading now: uh...none . Worst feeling in the world: Not being good enough . Future daughter's name: Lindsey Ryan . Future son's name: um...haven't thought about it . Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: yes! . What's under your bed: nothing . Favorite sport to watch: FOOTBALL...GO COCKS . Siblings: Brother 29 and Step-brother 30 something . Location: L-town... . College plans: sophomore at CAROLINA. Piercings/tattoos: ears . Do you drink: like a fish . What are you most scared of: Being alone . What clothes do you sleep in: t-shirts. Where do you want to get married: hmmm Charleston or theres some REALLY pretty church on the way to Myrtle Beach that I like . Who do you really hate: no one . Do you drive: yes . Do you have a job: yes . Do you like being around people: Usually . Are you for world peace: Yep . Are you a health freak: yes . Have you ever loved someone you had no chance with: not loved them... . Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: no i don't have a type...you can tell with all my ex's . Song thats stuck in your head a lot: none right now . Do you want to get married: YES . Do you want kids: YES FAVORITES . Type(s) of music: i'm a music whore . Band/Group(s): too many . Color: PINK! . Perfume or cologne: Lucky, Curious, Happy Heart . Month: September . Flower: Pink and white roses IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU... . Cried: yes . Bought something: yes, medicine, a bunch of shit at wal-mart . Gotten sick: am right now . Sang: in the car...10 min ago . Met someone: Daric's step-dad . Missed someone: Yep . Hugged someone: Yep . Kissed someone: Yep . Had an orgasm: Yep . Became shy around someone: No . Been to the diner: Nope...the diner??? like the local diner? there's no such thing in L-town . Exercised: no

So long time. I start working tomorrow at 7:00 am. What was I thinking!? Anyways. Only a few more days until I get to move into the dorm...I don't think I've ever been this excited about living in a dorm. Oh well! Carolina is going to be awesome and I can not wait! I've met this guy. His name is Josh...he's really really sweet and hot! And he has a twin. I'm hoping to get to know him better and maybe some sparks will fly. Who knows. I still don't know what to do about that person I wrote about in the previous entry. We kinda got into an arguement this morning about how he never wants to talk about what's going on between us. If he says its never going to get serious...what am I doing this for? I dunno...we'll let this one play out. So I'm going to the Dr. today to get my throat and lymph nodes and ear looked at...I could barely swallow last night and it hurts sooo bad to yawn or open my mouth. Hopefully I won't have to get my tonsils taken out! I always seem to make things worse When I have everything I ever wanted Except for you I know that... All the things that mattered to me Never really mattered much to you... I know that... This will take some time Its not something that happens over night. ~Sed Bello...All Good Citizens Peace my ninja Lacy *My car is FABULOUS!*

I'm not a happy person at the time being. I feel like throwing a HUGE temper tantrum like I did when I was 2. Just throw random shit around my room at the wall and break stuff. Childish I know. But! I can honestly say...I haven't been happy in a LOOOOONG time. I think the downward spiral started at the beginning of this year. Whatever happened with me and Alex REALLY screwed me over. And the fact that the person that wanted me soooo bad when I was dating Alex...now acts like I'm no big deal really hurts my feelings. Maybe it was just the chase that excited him so much and now that he's gotten me...I'm not that thrilling to him. My emotions have been on a really big roller coaster this whole year...and its not even over yet. Its frustrating not being happy...actually its down right depressing at times. My freshman year of college and summer didn't turn out quite like I had planned. So many unexpected things happened and I'm determined from now on to do what makes me happy. To get what makes me happy and (as jeremy would say) FUG IT...if it or you don't make me happy. And I'm sorry if I lose or hurt people in the process. I NEED TO BE HAPPY AGAIN. I don't like myself being like this. I'm tired of making everyone around me happy and not myself. I'm tired of doing things for other people to make them happy, especially when I don't get anything in return...ok maybe a Thank You or I appreciate it, but that only goes so far! Another factor. Don't get me wrong I'm happy that my friends finally have guys that are great and wonderful to them, but...honestly one of you is being a hypocrit and the other...I don't think things have been the same since I said shit to you know who about you know what. I don't know what else to do. I'm done. Lacy ((Life needs a rewind button))

I HAVE A BRAND SPANKIN NEW CAR! How excited am I?!?!?!? MORE THAN EXCITED....EEEEP! I love my car!!! YAY!!! ITS GORGEOUS Why am I writing this at 4 in the am....who knows. I just woke up...I had a migraine last night. I took some meds and played with Preston on the couch....he fell asleep on top of me and i was out cold b/c of the meds. So my mom woke me up by taking the baby...so i went to bed and now im here. Anyhoo...going back to bed! ::XOXO:: Lacy *BTW...the car is 2005 Navy Blue Toyota Corolla LE*

"Saddest Girl Story" So it's safe to say that we've been here before; Heart torn out, down for the count and still come back for more. This lesson is learned too well. Though, only unlearned by the time your wounds have healed. Have you had enough? I guess not because your lips are stuck to his. It's Time to say enough is enough, you would be so better off. You love him but tough because it's not coming back from him. You can't win. Stop expecting change, he's just a lost cause that you're waiting on. Take a look around, you could have anyone. So leave undeserving him. It only hurts at first. But then you will find someone to give you everything you want. Try not to go running back to him. So it goes unsaid that we've been here before. Lonely nights and endless fights and sleeping on the floor. And he's sorry, so the story goes. It's read and replayed and ends the same way Stop expecting change, he's just a lost cause that you're waiting on. Take a look around, you could have anyone. So leave undeserving him. Stop expecting change, he's just a lost cause that you're waiting on. Take a look around, you could have anyone. So leave undeserving him. ~The Starting Line I feel like this song was written for me. LOL. ::XOXO:: Lacy *didn't like LJ...so i'm back for more*

New Journal... http://www.livejournal.com/users/peachie_keen19/

Explains a lot...HA! I've had guys not break up with me b/c i was a good kisser and/or great in bed and b/c I could say the whole this little piggy...in spanish. Kinda pathetic...why am i telling that? oh well....i have random "talents". Lacy *I want Mr. Right...not Mr. Right now* Part Expert Kisser You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettablePart Passionate Kisser For you, kissing is about all about following your urges If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Don't think that no one loved you because they've turned away Don't feel they didn't care for you because they couldn't stay Don't damn the world for not returning the love you feel you've given Don't hate the one you were yearning for because he couldn't make a commitment just think of him as an experience & think how much you've grown think of him as the sacred prince who placed you on the throne think of all the times together feeling closer since you're apart think of your plans of now & forever & hold them in your heart. So I stole that from Mal's Diary b/c I think its appropriate for someone that I say so many times how much I regret being with them and getting more involved with them than friends. I'm even regretting now getting involved, but this quote makes me re-think all that. He was really good to me and I guess I can't let go of that and him b/c I'm scared I won't find that again. I know he reads this and I don't really care. Our friendship hasn't been what I want it to be. I feel like i'm just put on hold all the time. And i put forth all the effort to be friends...so is it worth it? I think you're the only person I have questioned whether or not i should keep haning around with. EVeryone else is pretty much black and white...and I know what i should do with them. But you're so complicated! I want you in my life b/c you're like a second big brother that i know i can count on to beat the shit out of someone if i need it. and you say you care about me...sometimes you don't show it...but when you do...it means a lot to me *esp. when you're considerate of my feelings* there's so much more i wish i could say to you in person but you won't have that...and i can't afford to express that much emotion. so there's about a quarter of my feelings...maybe the rest will come out in a later entry. Who knows. You know who you are. ((lacy)) *The part I think is the most important in relating to this person and my life: Don't damn the world for not returning the love you feel you've given Don't hate the one you were yearning for because he couldn't make a commitment **

So after not much encouragement from friends and family...I've actually decided ON MY OWN to talk to my dad about all that I've been through and how much I think its b/c of him being a void in my life. I've decided not to put it off until tomorrow. I decided i needed to talk to him yesterday. So that convo is happening tonight. I'll write tomorrow and let everyone know how it goes...I might get around to it tonight. I'm actually kinda scared to let him know how I feel. B/c it seems like everytime i make the attempt to tell him. He brings something else up like he's avoiding the conversation. Or he says it'll change and it does for about a week. And then it stops. I'm tired of that. Either it stays that way or I can't have him be in my life pretending everything's ok. When its not. I've had a pretty sucky start to the week. Hopefully things will get better. Lots of love! Lacy *Holler back younging...WOOT WOOT*