So...Happy New Year! Alienated mood b/c I haven't seen my friends except once during break and I go back to campus Sunday. It's not totally my fault. I did just get my wisdom teeth pulled [2 weeks ago] and I'm starting to feel much better, but I feel like they still won't call me to go out or do anything with them. They don't even offer even if they know I won't go b/c its at a certain persons house that I dont' particularly care for. Kinda seems like Emily is going back to being Mal's best friend and I'll just be the 3rd wheel. They have been friends longer than me and Em. But still what she did to Em...I would never do to her. And I understand that they'll hang out more b/c they live closer together but I don't want to lose my best friend over going to a college in a differnt county. Anyways how about those new year's resolutions that i haven't started on. 1. Lose 10 lbs. 2. Be more committed in relationships 3. Restore my faith in religion 4. Try to understand the Citadel (i've already started) 5. Try to forgive certain people in my life for the mistakes they've made 6. Find out who I am and what I REALLY want from life. WOW those are deep. Certain people see me as superficial and materialistic but i have a deep side that's full of hurt and pain that I have a guard around and I don't want anyone to know about. Ok so...let me explain resolution number 4. There's this boy. Well Cadet at the Citadel that is fantastic and coming to see me for my b-day. I met him this summer and oh my he's amazingly sweet. Only drawback is...he's from Jersey and during the summer its going to be hard to keep our relationship going. I'm starting to read this book by Pat Conroy about the Citadel and everything a Cadet goes through so i can be more supportive of him and more understanding and mean it when i say that he can stick it out and i believe that he can do this. I know that he would do anything for me b/c that's the type of guy he is and i honestly just want to show him that i would do anything for him. Even if it meant driving 3 hours just to hug him and be with him for an hour. I don't know why it took me so long to come to my senses and realize that everything I wanted in a guy was right there when I wasnt' looking. Good thing I got him while i did! hehe. Some friends have said they picture me marrying a cadet... Well that's enough for now... *4 days*