So..i'm sitting here just listening to the radio and this song comes on. It makes me think of stephen...well of course it would b/c The Cure is his favorite band (or was). I really miss him. I miss just being his friend. We had the best time just hanging out at his house and goofing off. I can't remember if i said this in my last entry but I UPSed his stuff back to him in a Rubbermaid container. I was ready to let go of what we had. What i'm not ready to let go of is his friendship. Well with not talking to him and stuff like that...going "cold turkey" i guess you could call it kinda forced me to let go of that. the only thing that kept me hanging on to our relationship was his stuff. i replaced the pictures in the frames with pics of my friends and fam. and put his t-shirts and ring in this box and tucked it in my closet...for about a week hoping he would talk to me and maybe we would get things back the way they were. but no. i let go. i'm glad i did. hopefully he won't read this. i mean its not that i'm miserable and can't get out of bed in the morning and that all i can do is cry. i just miss him. i miss being around him and just having fun. I MISS BEING HIS FRIEND!!! *sigh* there's been a lot of things occurring that made me think of him. this past weekend we had a competition at Irmo. He was supposed to be there (well he said he'd be there...but that was when we were dating). all of these cure songs. the one today and there's a cover of one of my favorite cure songs...love song that's on the radio now. i just can't hear them w/o thinking about him. sometimes i turn the station b/c its too much. but other times i just sit there and think about all the fun we had together and how much i wish we were still friends. its not like i have a lack of friends. mal and i are still really close. we're going to the Britney Spears concert tomorrow night! and then Emily and I are getting a lot closer than we ever were. The both of them are always there for me and i love them more than anything. its just good to get away from all the estrogen sometimes. ya know? PROM: I called Josh sunday...b/c he was supposed to find out from lisa weather or not he can go. he asked her which was a huge step...but she said she had to think about it. b/c "you're practically asking me if you can go on a date with another girl". which i understand but josh and i have known each other for 5 years! but whatever at least she's thinking about it. so either tonight or tomorrow he's going to know. Great here's another song that reminds me of stephen. AFI...he used to love them...before they sold out. maybe he still likes them. oh! i e-mailed him and told him to e-mail me when he got his stuff. he did and said that it wasn't necessary and thanks for the converses i bought him before we broke up. and that it was a really nice gesture. so i wrote him back and said hopefully that simple gesture can be the start of us being friends again. if not now...eventually. so he hasn't e-mailed me back. i'll write when i get an e-mail from him or something big happens like my prom date's g/f decides he can't go. *crosses fingers* i hope he gets to go with me! i'll write more later. *MUAH* Laces