I feel like everyone avoids me. Or like they don't want to hang around with me. I mean yeah i'm exhausted all the time from working and school but I try to make efforts to keep friendships but...no one seems to care. Maybe I just need to slack off so I can actually do stuff and hang out with people when they want to. I've been trying so hard to make it all work but my efforts suck. Certain people are only free one night a week and they won't even give me that to just spend some time with them. This person knows who they are. I have never been in so much pain in my life like i do now. The Dr's said there was nothing wrong with me and I'm grateful for that, but that doesn't explain why I'm tired 24/7, why my whole body hurts most of the time, or why i feel like i can't even function w/o feeling like i'm going to pass out at any moment. I hate feeling like this. I hate trucking a long knowing I physically can't handle what I'm doing while all this "illness" is going on I'm just tired. Tired of people being dicks to each other. Tired of people treating me like a play toy. Tired of people only seeing me as a sex object. Tired of working. Tired of people pretending to be something they're not. Tired of people in general. Tired (as in exhuasted, dead). There's more to me than just a good body and sex appeal. I really want people to realize that and see that I'm not just a sex object. I am a good person with a great personality and I find myself quite amusing. Why can't anyone esle? (guys) I feel like certain ones are coming around and realizing it but its too late. We've gone out and they've ruined ANY kind of second chance b/c of the sh*t they've put me through or done to me. And yeah its sweet revenge but it kinda sucks b/c the relationship was good until whatever happened. I'm kinda glad guys are realizing that I was really the best g/f they've had and kicking themselves in the ass for breaking it off or whatever...and some of them i would want back if i were weaker, but i'm not...i'm not going back and giving them what they want. They have to earn even a good friendship back. and some have. That's all... Lacy *I wanna fall in love!*