My stomach hurts, dude. I don't wanna be taking any journeys into D-Town by the way of the virus busway. So you've just got to straight up quit this because my stomach HURTS. It was Claire's birthday today and I was trying to be all cordial and friendly and call her up and I get this, "I've got family in town." Dang! But I did get an e-mail address out of it. Dang! Shoot, in 10 years we're going to be exchanging e-mails and screen names on our hands instead of phone numbers anyway? Phones? What are these "phones" you speak of? I want to see footage of this so-called "phone" and a detailed history of it. So pick up the PHONE and CALL a Mr. Alexander Graham Bell, because he's on breaktime in either heaven or hell (you think I know the religious beliefs of a telephone inventor? Who do you people think I am?). Trigonometry. Let's talk about trig a little bit. Does anybody want to come take my makeup test for me? I can't fail that mess, I'm trying to make a decent grade. So much for that trying to outdo my sister's 98 from the same teacher business. I bet I'll still be taking that stupid test on Friday. Because I'll do three problems, my head will start to hurt, and I'll quit. Mrs. Jennings is very understanding about all of this. I mean, she's all, "come here, baby, and let me show you this stuff." She's one of those moms who calls everyone baby and sweetie. So today was all, "let's talk about prom!!!" Okay, prom was fun, and Georgia and Nikki booty danced about the whole time, and I got my groove on. I mean, you gotta sum it up in two or three sentences with this "hurry up and go to bed because I'm your mother and I said so" mess. But seriously? I need to complain about the loss of equilibrium in my body because this is unfair! Unfair! I mean, whose body besides mine shuts down at 2:00pm in the afternoon so that their head is forced down on the desk to drool on a Geometry quiz? And I'm not talking about anybody's oddly shaped dented head, either. Don't go insulting heads. Okay, and non-complaining. Peace and solitude for almost three hours because my mother is a "career girl." I love my momma. Represent.