I've had to talk to so many people I don't know, but so many that I do. People I haven't seen since before my first memory were there. And I don't think I've seen such beautiful flowers surrounding a casket before. My grandmother always loved sunflowers and there was a big fat one in the arrangement on her casket. My parents and my uncles had been arranging the room for several days, and they did a wonderful job. There were pictures I had never seen before, and some that I had seen for years that now had a different meaning. Going in to see my grandmother in the casket was hard the first time. I felt sick, and then I saw how peaceful she looked, and it made me feel better. My dad noticed that there weren't any roses in her hands like they had requested, and so they fixed it. I became very fond of the fact that she was holding roses. I made it easier for myself by going with my mother when she walked with people to the casket so that I was finally okay with standing there by myself for a minute. I don't think I've ever seen my grandmother's twin sister look so lost. Not even when her husband died. I think that the whole twin connection isn't ever severed, not even in death is it severed. A big part of her must be missing now. My uncle's church brought us dinner, and we sat around eating it and reminisicing. At one point somebody led a prayer thanking God for my grandmother's life and what she did. I hadn't heard anybody talk about her that way yet. She can see Deni, and Click, and her brothers and her sister, her parents, and my grandfather. She's not suffering anymore. She's free.