Life hasnt changed much from the night before.. besides the conflict between justin and Melissa is practically over... there maybe a few more bumps so Im keeping a look out... I havent eaten a thing in about three nights and its beginning to take effect... like I care... my day way pretty fine all day.. until the stunt on vampirefreaks.com... I dont know... its just... I took down my picture and told everyone I was ashamed and didnt want it back up... then he tells me to put it back up and never be ashamed... so I did... like the retard I am... and he laughed at me... I cried so long ... and that was only the beginning... Justin had gotten depressed again.. I hate to see him depressed like how he is... but I cant stop it.. I try to help but I feel I am not doing anything in it... but I got pissed at melissa too for allowing him to get the way he was... we arent mad anymore but it still hurts... I tried comforting justin... I even tried getting a little closer to him... but that backfired because I knew what he was doing... it was ignoring it inspite that he isnt gay.... I just hate it alot you know? my life totally sucks and I have to be the one to resolve others problems... I dont mind it.. but when my own feelings get pulled into the way.. it hurts alot... I hate that Im so emotional... but I guess everyone is... I wish I could of said the things I wanted to say to him when he was crying... but I didnt... because I dont want to say the wrong thing and loose him forever... anywayz.. I tried cutting,.. I promised justin I wouldnt... and for some reason... I couldnt do it... I held it to my skin and I was terrified of it... I have no Idea was is wrong with me... but all I do know is... Im glad I didnt do it... or I would loose justin... even if he is just a friend.