why do I always have the fucked up life everyone regrets?.. so I was talking on the phone with blake.. and I didnt want everyone in the living room and kitchen to hear me on the phone with him cause it was personal. So I went back to my room, waited a little while. played a game or two of FFR and jeremy comes in yelling to get off. I wanted to finish a Two Minute game before I went to do dishes, but he kept yelling at me. Repeatedly, and Im yelling back. because I Just want to finish a damn game. and its Unfair. he says apparently if I cant learn to talk to him.. he's going to send me back to my moms.. Im on The Verge of killing myself.. I swear.. Ever Since the last few weeks.. Ive just wanted to die.. and the only reason Ive stayed is the hope that someone will come into my life and help.. but Nothing. No one comes to Matti's Rescue.. And Nine-Tenths of the people I know, Dont even know how bad I would wish to be face down in a puddle of blood, than to be Here anymore.. just let me die.. please.. just fucking let me die already...