i want to be done with school. i wish i could of had more time to figure this out. i went to maccray today and signed the registration papers. but now i regret it more then ever. i dont think i can go there again. atleast not now. um... wow. this is hard. i sat at home today and wrote the good and bad at being in maccray and willmar. they measure out to be the same but that doesnt matter. its up to me. but i cant make up my mind i really want to stay in willmar and live with my mom. but that wont happen. i regret those papers. i told my mom and she told me to come to the bar and talk to her about it.. and as i sit here and think about it some more. i think about how lonely its going to be here. my mom will never be here sam wont be living here and my mom is moving in one of her friends to my sisters room.. yah i took some deep breaths. and nothing. still confusion. i feel as if im going to be left behind no matter where i go. i hate how maccray school works but i love my friends there. i love how willmar school works and the friends but not the fact that i will be living with my dad. i cant stand being there one day. how could i last one week... 2 months. i mean yah i should try. but i dont want to try because im afraid that the outcome will be me having to go back to maccray and then i will be more hurt then i am now. so maybe i will have my mom tell maccray to put those papers aside for now. i will try dads for 1 week. if it goes bad i will still try one more week. maybe i could talk sam into staying at dads every other week. or only like 3 days a week. because i still need to take care of the animals here. maybe i will just have to talk with jeff again so he can talk me into staying some more.