im sorry that u have to spend time in jail. i know what it feels like to have to live for someone else and u dont have anything to do or say about it. i was there. im still there thinking about court coming up gets me stressed because i still have 100 days over my head that they could easily send me to a detention center. im happy now that i live this new life that i can remember... it feels good i went to the meeting last night and my aftercare i also went to the meeting on tuesday night after getting yelled at by my mom because my thought process scares me when i get down... im actually scared everyday that im going to mess up because i guess thats all i was used to. and i dont want to mess up again. i talked about being stressed out last night in my meeting. i wanted to cry but then again i didnt want to. im so scared that i wont live up to any expectations. is that bad? im trying to live for myself but i want to live for everyone else. anyway me and jaymie are a thing and i really like him. he likes me a lot to. i just dont know if it is to much on me right now because i dont want to hurt him. i always have this tendency to hurt people. i dont want to hurt people anymore. i dont know what i want to be right now. because i want to talk to people. but im afraid constantly that im just a screw up thats why im here. i know its not true, i can still think that though. my mind is a scary place