so im back. the same ol me.. the me that i know the me that iv been all my life... atleast i felt happy for a month right?... thats to long i guess to my book. i have to screw it up. i got blood all over my jeans my elbows got a chunk out of it my toe is cut all the way down from running after her ... i think i might need stitches. i cant walk on it. why cant i just be normal... or happy. i think matt doesnt want to be with me anymore. i think thats a total set backfor me ... because i really thought it would work atleast for a while longer... but its always my fault...i guess u cant be good to anybody else if ur not okay with urself i thought i was... well i guess i dont care about anyone else... i really think i dont i dont think i care about myself.... 90 days in juvie here i come...is it bad to say that i dont feel like just being around like i dont want to die but i just dont want to exist anymore. matt was the only one that kept me level. and i havent had my meds in a while so i could feel all the sad shit crawling up inside my mind. but when i was with. it all went away or atleast i didnt feel it. am i really worth it. my mom still loves me. i dont know why. i wish sometimes everyone could give up so i just wouldnt i have to feel how i do right now... maybe it would just be worse. but iv hit my bottom once again. can i just bury deeper inside myself i feel like i may just disconnect myself from the world once again this time.. from everyones