well last night was fun. throwing a suprise party was cool. but waking up the next morning just sucked. my dad said i cant have jack at his house... he doesnt understand that with him going to be working all the time. and when sam has to work after school does he expect me to sit on my ass alone all fucking day. hes a bastard i hate him. i hate everything. i dont think i have a reason to be happy for anything anymore. with my mom moving in kathy and her son jason. what the fuck. when i come back on the weekends where do i get to stay. do i get to live anywhere anymore. if i leave jack here kathy said she doesnt want him here. and my mom says shes not going to take care of him. what the hell am i supposed to do. just sit here and watch my life turn to shit again. maybe if my mom didnt have to go to the casino. didnt have to live with her boyfriend. or start hanging out with crack heads. everything here would still be fine. but its not. i hate my dad. i basically hate my mom. i dont think i can like anyone or anything. i always end up getting hurt. maybe i have to get rid of jack the only one i do love. the only one that keeps me company when im sitting in this house all fucking alone. my dads is going to suck..maccray would suck. i dont get it. i was thinking about maybe moving in with amber and lying about it to my mom and dad. but i would have to bring jack there. and i dont know if that would work. can i just move in somewhere by myself. should i just buy a fucking box and live there till i actually feel wanted from someone. theres no reason to be here anymore. theres no reason for anything.